It only took a simple little renewal email to remind me that time is passing by faster than I can catch it. How could a year slip through my fingers so quickly?
What have I done with the time I was given?
Did I follow through on my commitments?
Was I really emotionally present and engaged with those I say I love?
Did my heart truly bend itself to the will of the Father?
A year. It is such a long time when looking ahead and a short time when looking behind.
This time last year I was prayerfully seeking God for how He would want to use me in the next six months. I was emerging from a painful season of being pruned by the Lord, with hard questions pressing on my soul.
Daily I found myself staring hard into the Cross, wondering if He was enough for me…
enough to meet the needs of my heart…
enough to bring me the joy I longed for…
enough even if I wasn’t busy doing for Him but simply living because of Him…
Was God enough, simply because He was God?
The Lord allowed me to dwell in that wonderland for a long season of searching, praying, thinking, looking for an understanding of His ways. Through a passionate study of the Scriptures and endless hours of honest confession of my doubts and longings, I came to settle on God as not only simply enough in my life…but the foundation and nourishment for my life!
As I look back on that time, I feel as though I was on a never-ending spiritual retreat, even in the midst of crisis and chaos. The sweet fellowship with God, apart from my usual habit of serving Him, left me with a taste for more of God and less of doing for God. It left me permanently changed, for I can no longer live a busy life without fellowship with the Lord. Now, I literally feel dry and weary when my ministry and work dominates my relationship with God and others because of the boundary-line formed in my desert dwelling.
I can see now how this radical transformation in my relationship with God was absolutely necessary before launching More to Be. Oh, the mess I would have made of this place if I was still living as a woman striving to create something for God rather than being an overflow of God! The more I get out of the way of God’s work, the more the Lord is able to bless and grow this ministry (and it is growing way beyond my dreams)!
It is clearly apparent, however, when I look at the daily state of my heart that the work the Lord’s intends to accomplish in me is not yet done. Praise God, for I am still nothing short of a grace-touched mess! The reality is that experiencing life transformed is an ongoing process, for me and you, as He brings to completion the good work He began oh so long ago.
Like many of you, I still struggle to define myself by who He says I am and not by what others think. I’m still plagued with bags of childhood lies formed deep within my mind about my worth and what others may think of me. It is no surprise that the fear of what others might say makes me hesitate to be real online.
It is all to easy to hold back my heart than to risk being misunderstood, judged, criticized, again, even in light of God’s faithfulness and in witnessing evidence of His provisions.
But I don’t want to hold back any more.
I want to be real with you.
As real as I am with the girls I mentor in ETC.
As real as I am with my Bible Study sisters.
As real as I am with the Lord in my private little sanctuary home.
I want to share life From My Heart with you.
I want to give you a ‘fessing up story of my sin shaped in a God-lesson, because that is what real life is all about.
I want to share an honest-to-goodness struggle in my parenting, because I am not a perfect parent even though I teach about parenting with grace.
I want to share moments in which the Lord revealed His Word-come-to-life reality, even though there is so much I don’t understand.
I want to be imperfectly real with you, without fear of getting hurt, but in fear of not ever sharing the stories from my heart that testify of the glory of God.
I’m not sure how this real factor will take shape over the next few months, but I’m willing to step out in faith and trust Him to accomplish the overflow work of my life here on the screen of More to Be.
I am more than woman who produces a collection of free downloads. And yet, I am that person who produces those things because of what Christ has accomplished in my life, compelling me to share those truths with you. But somewhere between the curriculum-without-the-binding and the save-by-grace gal dwells a woman finding joy in an imperfect journey. I want you to know her, too!
So, here I go, leaping forward in faith, risking being real for the sake of sharing with you my heart.
Are you willing to be real with me, too?
On the 30th of each month, I am going to post a From My Heart Link Up. All you have to do is tag an already-written-post from the last month that resonates with purpose of this real gathering of writer hearts.
Your post should share a story, a confession, a lesson learned, or a God-truth, in which you reveal you don’t have it all together, but are striving toward the cross and desire to glorify God, even in your mess.
If you have any questions or ideas to make this meaningful, share it with me in a comment below or email me at lisa(at)moretobe(.)com. In the meantime, grab the button and invite your friends to keep it real, from the heart.
Maybe my being real is so that you can be real, too.
Latest posts by Elisa (see all)