When Christmas is Lost in Singleness

Every year I look forward to the Hallmark Channel’s continuation of their Christmas movie marathon. For two hours I escape into a world where Christmas is magical. The child reconciles with his parents. The husband and wife escape divorce. And the single woman finds love. All in the nick of time – just before Christmas morning.

However, these movies were not always an escape as they are now.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Joe Buckingham

I remember as a single woman the whisper of another year of unknowns to come that overtook my mind as I watched these movies. Loneliness set in with the unfilled hope that this Christmas my life would be different. This Christmas I would be married.

That’s when dread replaced the joyous spirit of Christmas. Then came the guilt.

Now as I mentor single women, I see that I was not the only one in this struggle. A friend of mine recently wrote,

“With it being Thanksgiving week and the holidays officially kicking off so to speak, I was wondering if anyone else has an especially hard time this time of year? I have to admit, as much I try to keep the focus on Christ and others this is a very difficult time for me. Another year, and I’m STILL single! I find myself filled with dread, wishing I had my own husband and family, etc. And of course it all leads up to being date-less New Years Eve! I know my attitude is not what Jesus would want for me.”

During the holidays single women find themselves in a tug-of-war with their hearts. There is the tug for companionship, family, and tradition that they so desperately want and the feelings of discontentment that accompany it. Then there is the tug for the true meaning for Christmas – their Savior’s birth – and the joy promised to them.

If left unnoticed this tug will result in the wrong winner. Desires will begin to outweigh Truth, and lives will become self-focused instead of Christ-focused.

When Christmas is lost in singleness we forget the reason Jesus came in the first place. The reason we even celebrate Christmas.

He didn’t come to give us a magical life. There is nothing magical about God becoming a man – a human servant – and dying a sinner’s death on a cross.

Instead he came to give us a supernatural life. <– {Click to Tweet!} A life where despite all the hardship, sadness, and confusion there is freedom.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.” Isaiah 61:1 (NLT)

Jesus came for the single woman.

At Christmas our gift is a Savior who supernaturally takes away the pain. But how do we live out that truth daily when the Hallmark movies tell us it’s magic and the peace comes in two hours with a march down the aisle?

We have to deliberately and intentionally focus our eyes on Jesus.

In a culture where Christmas is romanticized as a time of year where life is supposed to become some type of Utopia, we have to remember that our joy is in the One who started it – the baby Jesus who came into this world to take away the pain. Because in reality, marching down the aisle to meet a future husband can’t take it away any more than a Lexus parked in your driveway with a big red bow on it can.

We are joyful because without that baby born over two thousand years ago there would be no reprieve. We would continue on, bound to a fallen world, and without any hope for Heaven.

We would remain in the loneliness.

Today single friends, let’s fight the lies by focusing on a birthday party. A party for the One who came to supernaturally meet all of our needs.

What truth from God’s Word do you need to reflect on this Christmas to keep your mind focused on Him and not singleness? 

 

More to Be Related Resources for You:

Mental Makeover: Demolishing Lies and Believing Truth

10 Relevant Truths

12 Days of Eternal Gifts

 

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1 thought on “When Christmas is Lost in Singleness”

  1. Brenda,
    I remember these same feelings from the time I was single and it seemed all my friends couldn’t get to the altar fast enough. Thanks for the encouraging words!

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