Am I Messing Up As A Mom?

Written by Erin Bishop, The Whatever Girls

Am I messing up as a mom?

It seems like my daughter has turned into a young woman overnight. Any day now I’ll wake up and find that she has surpassed my 5’4″ frame. Her deep brown hair falls softly against her ivory cheeks; her green eyes sparkle and dance when she laughs.  And her freckles?  I love them. I tell her she reminds me of a doll I used to play with, Strawberry Shortcake.

I love to watch her with her friends and watch her play soccer. She’s sure of herself and she’s not afraid. She has a confidence I didn’t know at her age.

I wonder how she’s done so well this far.

I look back to the girl I once was.

I look at my inadequacies as a mother and worry that it won’t last…that she’ll turn out like me.

I’ve made mistakes, and taken a long time to learn the important things.

Sometimes I worry I’m not equipped to help her reach her dreams.

She’s got great dreams, this girl of mine. The kinds of dreams a mom dreams for her daughter. She wants to take career advancement and college classes in high school and graduate as a junior.  “Maybe I’ll go to culinary school, or even be a teacher,” she tells me. “I want a large family. I already have their names picked out.” She goes on to tell me the names of my eight future grandchildren. I smile and tell her we better start saving for the “spoil the grandchildren fund.”

M2B Image 1:25
Photo: Caleb Roenigk

When I look at my little girl now, I see a young woman who doesn’t need my advice or instruction as often as she once did. I see hope and a future filled with good things. With God-sized things. I am reminded that she will be gone soon. And with her goes what we have instilled in her. I pray that in these next four years I can still make a difference. That there’s still time to right the things I’ve done wrong. To sow words of love where I’ve spoken harshly. To heal the wounds I’ve caused.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1 NKJV

Sometimes I find myself longing for the day when I can send her to the store when I don’t feel like going. I know she’ll love the freedom her driver’s license brings, as I once did.  I also have plans for turning her room into a guest room when she’s gone. I can’t wait for more space. In the mornings before school, when we argue over necklines and hemlines, I dream of mornings without strife.

But then I catch myself dreaming.

Dreaming the wrong dreams.

Dreaming time away when I should be basking in the now.

I’ve made more withdrawals from my daughter’s emotional bank account than I care to admit.  But, just when I think I’ve lost her forever, that I’ve messed up so badly, she forgives me.  Her forgiveness rains down on me like her name: Grace.  She amazes me and gives me hope.  Hope that I can be a better mom. That I am the mom she needs. Hand-picked by her Creator.

I’ve come to realize the hard way (as usual) that God is so much bigger than my shortcomings and failures.  

When I’m at my weakest, or even my moodiest, He is still working on my behalf and he is still present in my daughter’s life, revealing His love and plans for her.

We can’t mess up our kids beyond God’s ability to repair them.

Do you ever feel inadequate as a parent?

Just think. Out of everyone, God created YOU to be your child’s parent. You. Handpicked by God, for such a time as this. He has equipped you.

We want encourage you to pursue all that God has made available to equip you, too!

Take a minute to check out our new
mentoring training and study opportunities!

They will encourage you to follow Christ distinctly and witness His work overflow onto your children.

 

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4 thoughts on “Am I Messing Up As A Mom?”

  1. “Do you ever feel inadequate as a parent?”

    Every.single.day. More so as my kids get older. I am so thankful that God comes in and covers my mistakes with His grace, that we aren’t in this adventure of raising our kids on our own!

  2. You have blessed my heart today. I needed to hear this as I hastily sent my “Grace” to bed and wondered how many times I withdrew from her emotional bank account today without replenishing. Thank you, God, for sending me your grace and your “Grace.” His mercies are new every morning!

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