When She Doesn’t Feel Cherished

Cherished.

That’s all I ever wanted to feel as a little girl. I wanted to know that I was the only one in his eyes. I wanted to know that I was loved and cherished, no matter what. So I spent my days trying to win his focus.  I spent my days attempting to do it all right, making sure to not disappoint my Dad, the one I wanted to cherish me. And he did cherish me, in his own way, in the only way he knew how.

But it wasn’t enough; it wasn’t what my soul really needed, so I went on an endless search for love. That search ended up breaking my heart and bringing me to my knees.

Our daughters want to know that they are cherished; our daughters want to know that they are the apple of someone’s eye.

We have a responsibility to remind our daughters that they are cherished, loves, and adored by the One True King.

Our daughters need to know the truth: they are cherished, they are the apple of Someone’s eye.

The Lord made us with a deep desire to long for Him and His love. Every day our heart beats with a desire to feel and express His love in worship. And our daughters need to understand that.

My search for love left me on an endless trail of trying to find someone who would fill my heart and fulfill my longings. When affirmation from guys didn’t fill my cup, I turned to material possessions and academic pursuits to feel satisfied. I made perfection my god. And nothing ever seemed to be enough, my heart never rested in true satisfaction.

It wasn’t until Jesus Christ became Lord of my life that I realized that deep longing within me was built to be fulfilled by none other than Him. He is the one I am meant to worship; He is the only One who can fill me with eternal satisfaction and overwhelming, heart-filling love.

Our daughters need to know that He is the only One who can stop the vicious cycle of searching for love and fulfillment in all the wrong places.

How do we teach our daughters to walk as cherished daughters of the One True King? Here are 3 ways…

1. Walk as a Daughter of the King yourself

       You are your daughter’s greatest teacher. She watches your every move. If you walk around critiquing your body, displaying disgust in yourself, will she not learn those same behaviors? If you don’t know your own identity as redeemed, sanctified, cherished, and loved, how will she learn that she is all of those things?

        Your comprehension of your identity in Christ will translate to her throughout your life. If you don’t live as a true daughter of the King, living as One who has been chosen by Him, your daughter certainly won’t learn how to either. Your relationship with Christ is essential to helping her build a healthy relationship with Jesus.

2.   Memorize Scripture

        When we plant God’s Word in our hearts, we have the ability to speak truth and love into our daughter’s lives. Memorizing Scripture helps us to be ready whenever our daughter needs to hear truth. Too often we don’t know what words to say, or we don’t feel like our words will be enough. His Words are always enough.

        When His Word is planted in our heart, it will flow out to our daughters at just the right moment, just when they need it. Knowing who He says we are, and implanting His truths into our minds that will eventually flow out in our words, makes a huge impact in our daughter’s lives.

3.  Mentor Her

        Too often parents can neglect to realize their role as a mentor in their own child’s life. Yes, they will have youth leaders and teachers as mentors, but their very own parents are their greatest mentors. Take this role seriously. Invest in your child as your mentee. Study books together, pray together, read Scripture together, talk about the hard stuff. Do your best to dig deep into your child’s heart and life. Take time to talk through teachable moments, always pointing her back to the One who she needs most.

The world is bombarding our daughters with lies, trying to tell her what will make her happy.

She needs to be reminded that she need not look any further for love, that she already has the love of her very own Creator, the only One who can satisfy her hearts’ cry for love. She is cherished just as her heart longs to be.

Will you join me in the mission to consistently remind our daughters of this truth?

Let’s set out together to help our daughters live a life dancing solely for the One who cherishes them.

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  1. I’m a 17-year old girl turning 18 in August, I’m doing my 1st year in University. I grew up in a prayerful family, a church going family. My mother till this day is my role model, my mentor the person I’d like to be like when I grow up.. I came across this reading and first thing that came to my mind was: “that’s more like my mother”.

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