Real Answers: What are different ways to show love?

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Real Question:

What are some different ways to show love?

 

Real Questions Deserve Real Answers

A Twenty-Something’s Perspective . . . Courtney’s answer:

There are many different ways to show love. The most common include physical touch, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and words of affirmation.

I have been realizing that I often show love how I wish to receive love. While this isn’t bad, it is helpful to take a second to ask how your friend or significant other receives love.

Just recently, I realized that my roommate feels most loved through acts of service. This is not my favorite way to love others, because it is not something that I often crave (unless someone is helping me put away my clothes *wink*). In any case, now that I am aware of my roommate’s love language I am able to be more mindful with household chores and things of that nature.

Loving yourself, however, truly is the first step toward loving others well.

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A Mom’s Perspective. . . Cherie’s Answer:

There are so many ways to show love. I agree with Courtney — we show love the way we desire to receive it. For example, I used to give my husband cards (words of affirmation) as I feel really loved when others write kind things about me. My husband would always want to hold my hand, stroke my hair, etc. (physical touch), as that is how he wanted me to show love to him.

So how can we help others love us in a way that we truly receive it?

You need to know your love language and relational needs. Once you have a good understanding of love languages and relational needs, you are able to figure out others’ or ask them. Below are two links that should help:

Love Languages

  1. Quality Time
  2. Words of Affirmation
  3. Gifts
  4. Physical Touch
  5. Acts of Service

Relational Needs Assessment 

  1. Acceptance
  2. Affection
  3. Appreciation
  4. Approval
  5. Attention
  6. Comfort
  7. Encouragement
  8. Respect
  9. Security
  10. Support

 

Here are a few practical ways to show love to others:

  1. Express gratitude to others. Make a phone call or write a note to tell someone how much you appreciate him or her.  Last night Courtney called to tell me how much she appreciated me being her mother. She shared various ways she was thankful for me. Wow! I felt so loved.
  2. People most often spell love TIME. So set aside time to fully be present with those you desire to love well. Listen more than you speak.
  3. Celebrate milestones such as birthdays, spiritual birthdays, graduations, first car purchases, job promotions, etc. When we acknowledge and celebrate with others they feel loved.
  4. Be thoughtful when giving gifts. I enjoy listening to what others say they enjoy or want. I felt very loved when my mother bought a necklace I wanted that matched earrings I received on Mothers Day.
  5. Love is best exhibited by what we do versus what we say. Love is an action.
  6. Praise others for who they are, focusing on character, not just what they do.
  7. Enter one another’s world. If your friend enjoys playing tennis go play tennis together.
  8. Cheer them on, especially when they feel down. Cheer them by attending their sporting events, performances, ceremonies, etc.
  9. Apologize when you are wrong.
  10. Let them know the many things you love and appreciate about them, i.e. appreciate how you serve others, you have such incredible insight, etc.
  11. Respect them.

Obviously there are many ways to love others, but you must take time to know them and how they receive love.

Have you ever considered how you best receive love? 

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Cherie Werner is a mother to three daughters ages 25, 23, and 13. She is passionate about spiritual growth, husband and her family. She loves to learn, and believes that the key to true success in relationships is loving others authentically. Cherie is keen on encouraging women in their roles as wives and mothers. It is her desire to help women become aware of the legacy that they want to leave behind. Writing and speaking is a way for her to share what she has learned along the journey. Visit Cherie at http://thewerners.org.
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