My life has not played out the way I imagined it would. When I planned summers, life brought winters. When I thought I was ready for brighter times, life gave me a mountain to climb.
Nothing could have prepared me for all the stones that life threw at me, stones with the potential of becoming destructive weapons or building blocks.
Maybe you were not born with a disability but have experienced disappointment, failure, or hard times in your life. Maybe you have struggled with your self-esteem or had plans for your life that did not turn out as you anticipated.
It does not matter which way you look at it, but we all have a story with unexpected turns to tell. This is mine.
I was born with a disability on my left hand. I only have a pinkie and a thumb. This in itself created many challenges, and one way I always explained it to myself as a little girl was that Jesus made me that way. It was not entirely correct, but that was a way for me to cope with it and to make sense of it all. It was only later when I learned that God is only good and that He does not give sickness but wholeness and restoration that I realized He did not give me my disability and challenges, but that He will use it.
As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, ” It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:1-3 NASB)
Acceptance from peers did not come naturally at first, so I tried to fulfill that need through performance. I started playing tennis at the age of 4 and excelled quickly beyond all expectations. At the age of 17, I was fortunate to be accepted into the main draw at Junior Wimbledon where my tennis career came to a sudden halt. The strain on my hands became too much. More injuries resulted in me having to step away from tennis and find a new way in life.
Even though I had big dreams for myself, it was there that I realised God had other plans for my life—plans that are more prosperous to me in ways I could ever imagine.
I always tried to make Him part of my plans, but the time came to stop and allow Him to make me part of His plans for my life.
I was forced to look beyond the girl who had seven fingers and played good tennis and ask myself, “Who am I?” I had to look beyond my own understanding and ideas and apart from looking for answers in different places, I turned to God to try and make sense of what is in store for me and where my life was heading.
I entered a journey where I began to understand that who I am and my acceptance in Christ is not about what I do or the way I look, but it is all about Jesus and what He did and continuous to do for me every day.
My focus began to shift away from me and towards Him on a daily basis. Previously, where I was focused on every goal I would like to achieve every day, I began to sit back and wait for Him to show me where He is leading me. Instead of being goal-driven, it became a survival course in Christ where I had to hang onto His every word for my next breath. I was not prepared to do anything from my own understanding as I have come to know that He knows best.
[Tweet “My ways are limited, but not His. “]
It was a challenging time, as I always had this idea that to surrender means you are weak. I always took pride in the fact that I can do things myself in spite of my limitations, but instead of that being a strength it became a weakness.
To truly surrender your life to Christ is everything but about being weak. In fact, it is the bravest thing one can do.
I was left with one question to answer: “Maretha, will you let Me?”
I was left with no other option but to accept (since I knew how well things worked out when I took control of my life) and I took God up on His offer and never looked back again. A life of continuous raffling to achieve more through self-effort became a life of rest in overflowing grace. A life where no victory could ever satisfy my being became a life of fulfillment by the mere presence of Jesus in my life.
A life of open doors through force became a life of unexpected doors opening when I least deserved it.
A disability that had the potential to be a destructive weapon in my life on a physical, social, emotional and psychological level was turned into a building block for God’s platform in my life to bring Him glory to a point where it can only be said that it must have been an act of God.
I would like to dare you that if you have experienced disappointment, failure, or hard times in your life to not hide behind them, but be bold in being vulnerable before God. Allow Him to let His power shine through your difficulties so that when people see you they do not see your limitations but the undeniable presence and works of God.
If you are ready to embrace the mission of becoming a brave women, grab the Brave Women Manifesto Study, Volume 1, which contains the first 10 principles of the Brave Women Manifesto in a downloadable workbook study format.
[purchase_link id=”23742″ text=”Add to Cart” style=”button” color=”dark-gray”]
