We’re thrilled to have Teri Lynne Underwood with us sharing from her heart the real struggles and joy of walking through life with our girls. Teri Lynne is a pastor’s wife, ministry speaker, and Bible teacher. As the founder of www.PrayersforGirls.com, Teri Lynne is a cheerleader for girl moms and the author of Praying for Girls: Asking God for the Things They Need Most. Connect with Teri Lynne on her blog, Facebook, and Instagram.
Be sure to read through to the end for a sweet giveaway!
She climbed in the car crying. Again.
I knew better than to ask. My girl needs space to work through situations before she’s ready to talk. Instead we drove to Sonic and ordered cheese sticks and slushies.
When the words began, they rushed out like water from a dam just released.
“Why do they hate me?” she asked, eyes full of tears and hurt.
What do you say? How do you encourage your daughter when she is in the middle of a hard season?
But even on the worst days, one thing remained true: God is good. It was His goodness at work in her, rooting out the parts of her character that didn’t reflect His. (p. 167, Praying for Girls).
All I wanted to do was wrap her up in emotional bubble wrap and then let loose on the girls who seemed to have made it their life’s mission to both attack and ignore my girl. Neither of those were realistic options.
So, I did what comes least naturally to me — I listened.
I became the safe place for her to share the hurtful words and deliberate snubs she faced almost every day. As much as I wanted to tell her those girls were jealous and petty and not worth her time and attention, in my heart I knew she needed my attention more than she needed my advice.
There were important lessons to be learned during her sophomore year. And the lessons weren’t just for her.
While she was figuring out how to deal with difficult people, I was reminded that I can’t fix everything for her.
Almost two years removed from those painful days, it’s easier to see how God was at work, how He was stripping away all the things in her life that were keeping her from Him. But we all know, sanctification isn’t easy.
And it may be even harder to watch it happening in our children’s lives than it is to experience it in our own.
What can we do when we can’t make the hard parts of life easy for our daughters (or sons)?
In seventeen years of parenting, I’ve learned through trial and error (mostly error if I’m honest) two things that make the greatest impact.
My friend Natalie has often told me that as our children get older, the stakes get higher. It’s true, of course. We are staring down my girl’s senior year and suddenly life feels very real and scary.
During their teenage years, our kids need us to be there. Not with our platitudes but with our presence. Oh sure, there will be times when we need to talk with them about the situations they face. But far more often, we get to be the safe place where they can process and work through their experiences and emotions.
The gift of presence is one of the most important things we give to our children. Don’t ever feel like it’s not!
I didn’t always know what or how to pray for my daughter. That’s why I started praying Scripture. As I read and studied the Bible, I would shape my prayers for my girl and for myself around what God had revealed about Himself and His purposes.
I’m not exaggerating when I say it was a game changer for me. The more I prayed with His Word as my guide, the more boldness and confidence I felt. And, as I shared this practice with others, I found they experienced the same things.
Praying for our children is one of our greatest responsibilities as moms. But we often find ourselves uncertain about what that looks like and how we should do it.
I wrote Praying for Girls: Asking God for the Things They Need Most because I know what it is to not know what to say or how to pray. Focusing on five areas of our daughters’ lives, this book will encourage and equip you to pray with confidence and boldness. There are 200 Scripture-based prayers as well as activities designed to help you connect with your daughter and share what you are praying with her.
Raising our children is no small thing. It’s scary and exciting, full of joy and trepidation. But we don’t have to do it on our own. God has given us His own wisdom and insight through His Word. We can study it and learn it and pray using what we’ve read as a guide to lead our daughters into a vibrant, fulfilling relationship with Him as they grow up.
How do you know when to speak and when to be quiet when your daughter is facing a difficult season?
What are some ways you have seen God sanctify your child through hard relationships or situations?
Available on Amazon and Wherever Books are Sold
Your purchase through this link supports the ministry of More to Be.
G I V E A W A Y
Would you like to win a copy of Praying for Girls: Asking God for the Things They Need Most?
Leave a comment sharing the topic that you feel is most pressing to pray for your girl about in this coming school year. Winner will be drawn on August 11th!
Thanks to Bethany House for providing a complimentary copy!
SUPER AWESOME OPPORTUNITIES for YOU to GROW
Do you struggle to listen well to your daughter and not jump into advice-giving mode before she’s ready to hear your opinion?
Well, you’re not alone, but you don’t have to struggle in this area anymore. You can learn how to effectively listen and ask life-changing questions through the online 10-week Life Coach Training Course. Even if you never want to start a business or ministry as a coach, the skills you’ll gain in this course will radically change your parenting. How do I know? Because these skills made me into a much better mother — and that’s what my children have to say!
If you purchase a copy of Praying for Girls, you can get $75 off a Life Coach Training Course (must enroll by August 12th).
I’ve never offered a discount like this before, but I am doing so now because I believe so strongly in the kind of skill you’ll gain and the way it will benefit your family. All you have to do is send me your receipt when you register for the course. To get the process started, drop me a note using the contact form or register here. If you’re not ready for training, you might be interested in working one-on-one with me.
You can get $75 off the MOMent Coaching plus Mentoring program for moms with the purchase of Praying for Girls (good through September 1st).
Feel free to drop me a note to set up a free consultation. I’d love to support you take the next intentional and purposeful step in your motherhood journey.