Yesterday’s mascara is smudged along my bottom lash line. A tiny piece of yesterday still clings to my face despite my efforts to wipe it away.
I glance up at the names written on my bathroom mirror with a black erasable marker, take a quick breath, and begin to pray silently, making my way through evenly and without pause. I pray for each person with only the knowledge before me.
I do so without hesitation or regret. The loss of time is not a thought I consider.
I don’t know how long it takes. I don’t measure or mark the time. It doesn’t matter. It only matters that these people need prayer.
Holy intervention.
Words poured out before the feet of our Father in a throne room I cannot begin to construct within the limits of my human imagination.
But for myself, I ask only for forgiveness. Forgiveness for my failings, forgiveness for my stumbling, forgiveness for my empty hands.
These past few months I have forgotten that my own work, my own calling, needs tending.
The weeds of doubt, insecurity, and anxiety have once again sprouted and grown. They threaten to choke out the subtle strands of words that I am growing within the cracks of my life. Lunch breaks and late nights seem a far stretch as a writer and perfect ground for thistles.
Later that morning as I drive to work while berating myself for having missed my 5 am writing session, a friend’s voice comes through on a long-distance thirty-second message. (How do people ever leave such short notes?)
“I am praying for you. I am holding you up. You are loved, friend.”
I am struck by her faithfulness to me, her shepherding of our friendship, her reminder that my work, that I am worth praying over.
Why are others loving me better than I am loving myself?
I know once again that the answer is always the underlying belief of my unworthiness. Satan is discreet at how he sows these thoughts, but oh, how they grow to be giants with roots that extend forever. This feeling of unworthiness to serve is not new to me just as your Achilles heel within the Kingdom is not new to you. The undercutting of believers has existed since Satan could conceive of a plan, and none of us is immune.
Jesus warned Peter in Luke 22:31 (NIV), “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat.”
I am “all.” You are “all.” We are each part of the all Jesus speaks of.
Satan’s goal was and is to separate each believer from Jesus. It’s that simple. He is relentless in the pursuit of the followers of Jesus, so we must do as Jesus did and be relentless in the pursuit of prayer for ourselves and others. Jesus himself was faithful to pray for us:
But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.
Luke 22:32 NIV, see also John 17:9,15,20
Jesus remained steadfast in his work and gave us a powerful example of a friend and prayer warrior.
He encouraged us not to abandon our work when we falter but instead to return to it and then reach out to others so they are encouraged to remain faithful to the Father as well.
After the morning prayer of my friend, I recommitted to praying for my Kingdom work. The feelings of fear, anxiety, and unworthiness have not disappeared, but neither have I and neither has my ministry. The Father is here at all times with me and I know it. I can feel him with every word I write and every person I pour myself into.
My prayer for you, dear one, is that you too will know that your work in the Kingdom is worth praying over.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Your work is worth it. It’s worth asking for the favor of God.” quote=”Your work is worth it. It’s worth asking for the favor of God.”]
That nursery class you are teaching, that ladies’ luncheon you are organizing, that auditorium carpet you are vacuuming, that teen devotional you are planning, is absolutely worthy of your hands and your prayers.
Therefore, set your face as flint like Jesus did towards Jerusalem, and move towards the work God has set aside for you.
I’ll be praying for you.
More to Be has additional resources on prayer over in The Tool Shop to help you develop and strengthen your prayer life. “Prayer Power, Tips & Techniques for Connecting with God” can help you find practical ideas about how to build a real and valuable prayer life.
