Modesty: Why It’s Important

One day, in my teens, I decided to dress up for school. Unfortunately, my idea of dressing up was to emulate what I saw in the popular fashion magazines. I wound up wearing a tight miniskirt.

What followed was eye-opening and shaming at the same time.

People looked at me differently. Girls stared at me and whispered about me as I passed. A few guys whistled. Some leered. The boys in my class threw pencils under my desk to see if they could get a glance up my skirt. All of them paid attention to me. I admit I felt a surge of power…for about 5 seconds. But mostly, I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. I’d gone from a regular girl to an easy sex target all in one morning.

It wasn’t flattering.

As an adult and a mom, I have a deeper understanding of my realization as a teen. I wish girls knew how much their clothes affected the people around them.

So I thought, “What if I ask a mother of teen boys about her feelings on this issue?”

Well, I did. And it is pretty eye-opening:

Boys think about sex.

Their hormones are raging. However, many young men want to focus on school, sports, and making a future. They want to honor what the Bible says about thinking pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8). But a young lady walking past them exposing a great deal of skin and curves makes the task almost impossible.

The way we dress affects the way others see us.

Do you want a guy to think of you as a friend? As the kind of future wife he would be proud to have by his side? Perhaps as the potential mother of his children someday? Or do you want a guy to think of you in terms of easy sex?

The way we dress affects how we see ourselves.

Dressing modestly is about having respect for yourself and your body. It doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy. Nor do you have to dress frumpy. It means you see yourself as the beautiful daughter of the King of Kings. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

I found it difficult to see that connection for a long time. But now, I realize that I am more comfortable when I dress modestly. I don’t have to tug on my clothes. I don’t have to worry that a guy thought I was coming on to him. I don’t have to worry about my underwear showing.

Dressing modestly enables me to spend less time worrying about what others are thinking about me. I am free to be myself and enjoy people.

What are some indicators your outfit might need a re-think?

• If your underwear shows, cover it.
• If your underwear will show when you sit, it’s too short or low cut.
• If your cleavage shows, wear a tank top or different style.
• If most of your thighs show, it’s too short.
• If it molds to your body like a second skin, it’s too tight.
• One mom put it simply: Keep the 4B’s under wraps: boobs, butt, belly, bra.

What do you think about modesty? How do you define it?  And what’s your motivator for what you wear? Maybe that’s the real heart of the issue.

For more on this topic, check out the
 Modesty: Beauty on the Inside and Out resources.