Have you noticed the silence? I’ve been wrecked by a storm.

Hurricane Sandy has impacted my region in more ways than one, leaving this space at More to Be dark for nearly a week. I still don’t have power, but have found a respite from the dark and cold nearby at my mom’s home.

Grateful is an understatement.

I felt like I was losing my mind by day three, acting like a drug addict off her high for too long. By day four, it became apparent to me why so many pioneer women died young. Day five found my great Allume to do list blurred by tear stained prayers of “God, what’s the point of this social media stuff in light of the many needy of this world.”

What was important a week ago seems ridiculous today.  

I nearly cracked up crazy by day six, with emotions leaping back and forth between giving thanks for the mercy of hot water and a place to go for meals, while desperately fearing another night of darkness and cold. I understand mental illness in the homeless community a whole lot better now. Everyone needs a warm home, even dimly lit, at the end of a long day that begins at sun up.

It is day nine, and I am in an unusual place of reprieve. We gave up sticking it out and escaped to my moms, a luxury in and of itself, reminding me clearly of the gift of comfort I’ve had my whole life and for the first time, truly realizing how living in the age of electricity is a gift we should give thanks for every day.

However, I am anxious to return to my new normal.

Old normal won’t be back having tasted the wretchedness known to so many homeless, hungry, truly deprived people around the world.  I’ve been changed by a storm that’s done more than wreck so many homes. It wrecked my heart and my perspective on life. It put a new spin on a word I sensed from the Lord at Allume:

Steward the call, from the overflow.

I thought the “call” was what you see working out here at More to Be.  But in my times of quiet and space away from the online world, I remembered that God has called me to minister first to my family and to live out the overflow of Him in my life in the flesh. One person and situation at a time. In my community. And then beyond. But the reality is, I just don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know how to commune with God apart from my habits and creature comforts. I’m not even sure there is an overflow of Him right now. It seems, in this storm, that I’ve discovered that there is too much me in my life and too little of Him.

I think God wants to break me free from the bonds I’ve chained myself to through the convenience of power — and not His power.

The reality is that I have to be in relationship with the Lord apart from my comforts.  Coffee and quiet time daily can’t define my relationship with God. It is in the messy, non-habit-formed-times in which the Word is lived on and out that reflects the overflow of my relationship with God. 

Based on this week, there isn’t much overflow! It is time to refocus! It is time to seek the Lord for how to spend my time, with Him, and how to overflow  in the call to minister to my family, first, my community, second, and beyond, third.

God’s teaching me something in this spiritual storm whipping up in my heart.  I ask for your prayers as I learn the lesson while this place continues to remain dark. I sense it is part of my call.  In the mean time, will you join me in giving thanks, adding your words to my list in the comments below.  I need your perspective to broaden mine. I need you to give thanks with me.

Let us give thanks in all circumstances…

for hot water

for a fire place to warm the house in the evening

and for a husband who taught me how to build a fire

for a community that helps one another

for hot food and even cold food

for the money in the bank to replace the hundreds of dollars of lost groceries

for experiencing the effects of a storm but not being destroyed by it

for family with power and gracious hospitality

for health in the midst of this difficult time

for realizing that the call begins at home

 

What are you thankful for today? 

Tell us…

 

I’ll be able to read your comments even if I can’t respond.

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