The Girl in the Mirror: A Teen’s Guide to Acceptance

My heart broke for her as tears streamed down her face.  Her mascara had run down her cheeks and she could barely look at herself in the mirror.  I had no words to say to her, no way to make it better.  This girl was broken.  This girl didn’t have anything left to give of herself.  This girl wanted to know why this was all so hard.  This girl… was me.

Credit: Melanie Hayes

As a teen, I was not what anyone would have considered “cool.”  I was never one of those girls who seemed to have it all together.  You know those girls.  They had the body I wanted.  They drove nice cars.  And most importantly, they dated the types of boys I wanted to date.

I’m pretty sure teens spend 99% of their time comparing themselves to others. You’ve asked the questions. What kind of clothes are they wearing?  Why won’t my hair look like that?  Comparisons are made on a daily, sometimes even minute-by-minute basis.

But somewhere in the midst of my comparison-making, I broke myself. 

I broke my confidence.  I broke my spirit.  I broke my sense of worth.

Do you know this girl?

On the outside I seemed fine.  I was funny and sarcastic, and nothing appeared to bother me.  But on the inside I was screaming out for someone to tell me I was worthy.  I wanted to go out on dates on Friday nights.  I wanted a boy to tell me I was beautiful.  I wanted to feel what all those singers were singing about in their love songs. I thought a boy would fill that void inside me.

It happens in the movies, right?  The rebellious boy meets the good girl.  They fall in love.  The boy changes because of this love, turning into an utter romantic, showing up on her door step in the rain (always in the rain) and confessing his love for her, just as she begins to doubt their relationship.

You mean this hasn’t happened to you either?!

Eventually, when my despair hit an all-time low, I realized that I was looking for approval and acceptance in the wrong places.

I simply wanted to feel wanted.

I was trying and hoping all this time to fill a void with a boy, but I realized that it had already been filled by someone; I just hadn’t let Him access my whole heart.

The day I accepted Christ in my heart, all my voids were filled. <-click to tweet


Stop Waiting

I didn’t need a boy to tell me I was beautiful, He already thought I was beautiful.  I didn’t need a boy to show up on my door step in the rain and confess his love for me; He had already confessed His love by dying on a cross for me.  Today, if you are that girl in the mirror like I was, waiting for acceptance from a group of peers, or waiting for some boy to show up on your doorstep–stop waiting.

Stop waiting, and start believing that He has already accepted you.  He already loves you.  He wants you to simply want Him.

“Open up before God, keep nothing back;

He’ll do whatever needs to be done:

He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day

and stamp you with approval at high noon.”

{Psalm 37:5-6, the Message}

Stop waiting for someone else to approve you, to accept you, to make you feel like you’re wanted.  You are wanted by Him!  Let Him have your whole heart, and set yourself free from the world’s impossible standards.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for each girl and woman that reads this today.  I pray that you will let them feel your unconditional love around them.  Help us to not look to others to fill our needs, our voids.  Help us to only look to you.  You love us no matter what our clothing style is or how our hair looks.  Thank you for that.  Let us open our hearts to you Lord.  In Jesus name, Amen.

 In what ways do you look to others for acceptance, instead of looking to God? 

How can you accept others and show them the love of Christ?

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Click for Resources:  Identity, Worth, Beauty, Change

3 thoughts on “The Girl in the Mirror: A Teen’s Guide to Acceptance”

  1. This is really good! Every girl myself included needs to read this. I felt that way a lot as a teen sometimes even now. I know that no matter what I am a precious gift from God and that he will love me no matter what.

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