Valentines is all about romance, right? And romance is ultimately about sex, yes? And when it comes to sex, isn’t it the more the better?
I know God says I should be married first, but He doesn’t want me to miss out, does he?
No, not necessarily, no, and definitely not.
So, why does our world tell us differently?
Let’s Explore 5 Common Lies About Sex
Lie #1 Sex is best enjoyed during youth. I’ll miss out if I wait until I finally get married.
Though promiscuity is common in young adult fiction books, movies and television shows, the sex is not best enjoyed during youth. Yes, the teen and early twenty-something years are some of the most emotional of your life, but that doesn’t mean you will have the best sex.
Don’t misunderstand me. God created sex to be good.
God wants us to enjoy it, but within the boundaries He placed for our protection.
Sex is made to be cherished in marriage, to bond a man and a woman and make them one-flesh.
It can be one of the deepest emotional experiences in life. But it can also be the most damaging. Each person with which you engage in sexual activity (see lie #4) possesses a part of you. And that is a part of you that you cannot share with your husband.
Sex changes you too. I see it happen in young people, a loss of innocence in their eyes. In the Song of Solomon (from the Bible), the Beloved warns of pursuing love before its time. This pursuit robs you not just of innocence, but emotional freedom. Sex, contrary to what some people say, is not freeing. It bonds you to a person. This is good in a marriage, but not elsewhere.
Lie #2 Sex with one partner for the rest of your life is boring.
In truth, it is the opposite. In some Bible translations, sex is referred to as “knowing” another person. Sex with only your husband is freeing, it is being able to break down barriers and walls so that your husband will truly know you. It is like the best-kept secret you share with your best friend. No one else should be a part of that.
Lie#3 The more partners I have, the better lover I will be.
Some people might make the case sex is just a physical act, so it shouldn’t matter how many people they are with. Simply not true, even for males, though many people protest otherwise. Sex is a physical, emotional and spiritual act. Research has proven that bonds you to another person chemically and spiritually. Like spiritually and hormonally super glue, the more you engage in sexually activity with multiply partners, the less glue you have. The less glue, or bond, and the less enjoyable the experience will be.
Lie#4 Going ALMOST all the way doesn’t count as real sex.
This might diminish your chance of getting pregnant, but it does not diminish that you are sharing yourself with another, “knowing” another. In Matthew, Jesus tells us that sin goes beyond just the words quoted in the Law (beyond the ending result or act). For example, he compared being angry with a person to murder. Let’s apply this to the sexual act. Are you experiencing the person sexually? “Knowing” them on an intimate, sexual level? Then that is too far unless you are married. Though perhaps tough to hear, remember God set up boundaries to protect us from emotional and physical harm.
Lie #5 To be sexy I must dress and act sexy.
Not true. Sometimes what is unseen is the most alluring. Am I saying we should wear tents? No, but our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Beauty is created by God. There is nothing wrong with looking nice, when put in its proper perspective, but men are created to be sexually excited first with visual input.
If you are dressing to be sexy, then men will notice you, and they will think of you in a sexual manner. Therefore, you could be leading them into temptation, causing a brother to stumble. Dressing overtly sexy is using your sexuality as a weapon to entice and ensnare. It might not just be your targeted cute guy you lead into temptation, either.
What lie are you most tempted to believe?
Is there a lie we didn’t mention? Feel free to address it in the comments.
Moms, we encourage you to get the Dating & Relationship Guide to equip you in having those important conversations with daughters and sons.