Are You Sure This Boy Is Mine?

When I gave birth to my first child and they put him in my arms and said it’s a boy, I responded, “Are you sure you have the right one?”  To which my beaming husband replied, “Yes, you’re still connected.”  So I guess by the sheer fact that he was connected to my umbilical cord and came out of my womb, they assumed he was mine!!

Raising a Son

I thought my firstborn was a girl from the very moment I found out that I was pregnant.  The bedding I picked out was teal with pink and yellow polka dots.  I also had a host of girls names ready in waiting.  The funny thing is that when I look at his ultrasound picture, my firstborn looks the same as he does today and he definitely looks like a boy!  The other ironic thing is that I really wanted my firstborn to be a boy so that he could protect and watch over the little sister I was sure God was going to also give us.

I grew up with three older brothers and the most amazing father so I really felt like I could handle anything this boy-raising world threw at me.  I very quickly learned that I truly wasn’t prepared for just about everything – from his first illness to his first girlfriend to his first year at college.  When we went to his first doctor’s appointment, one week after he was born, I was so excited that we were both dressed for the first time in a week.  My firstborn liked to nurse every two hours for forty-five minutes, so that didn’t leave a lot of time for sleeping, eating or bathing!  When we got to the pediatrician’s office, there was a sudden explosion and then a horrific smell.  To my dismay, the noise and smell had both been produced by my infant son.  And to my further dismay, I soon discovered that I had left the house with just my pocketbook – no diaper bag!!  I was not yet accustomed to having a baby (which I remembered to take) but completely forgot the all-important baby paraphernalia.  I am surprised that the pediatrician let me keep him after I had to ask for a diaper and changing tools!

I am very blessed that God gave me a healthy baby boy all those years ago. 

He has had one minor surgery to date and no real medical problems to speak of. 

But that’s not to say that raising him has not kept me on my knees. 

I vividly remember one night when he was about 12 and I thought I was done for the night; all three of my kids were tucked in bed and I was also in bed enjoying a good read.  My son walked into my room, plunked himself down on my bed and said,Can I date?” To which I responded, “No, go to bed.”

He wasn’t going to be put off that easily! 

He then asked my favorite question, “Why?” I quickly sent up a prayer for wisdom while also praying that my husband would miraculously sense my need for him and abandon his task-at-hand and appear in the doorway.  That didn’t happen.  However, God did give me the wisdom to talk to my son and not put him off – remember I was done for the night; I thought I had punched out and could now relax and have MY time!  I did not want to have this heavy, important discussion now!!  But my son did.

I asked him why he wanted to date.  He has always been one of the most honest people I know so he responded, “For bragging rights.”  I almost fell of the bed and had to contain my laughter.  I then proceeded to tell him that his response very clearly demonstrated that he was not ready to date.  I went on to explain what dating a girl means and how she should be treated by him.  I also told him that when he was ready to date, I had a book I wanted him to read, to which he responded, “Bring it on!!”

I needed more grace. 

I was not ready for him to date – did they have a book for me to read?  Yes, they did.  It’s called the Bible.

In my nineteen years of raising my son, I truly did find all the answers to life’s most probing questions (which my son asked) in God’s word. 

And although the world says that my son is mine, I know, in truth, that he is just on loan to me for a very short time.  He does, in fact, belong to His father in heaven.  I know this to be a fact because they are still connected.

 What is your experience in raising a boy through his teen years? What Scripture passages and resources have helped you?

1 thought on “Are You Sure This Boy Is Mine?”

  1. Oh my! This is timely for me! I just sent my teary eyed 13 yr old son away for a week of encampment. He cries when he gets anxious and he hates that this happens. We prayed with him and my husband took him to the meeting place. After he left I was crying and praying for him, I felt God say…I LOVE HIM MORE. And then I remembered, as much as I love him, God loves him so much more. I felt the peace of God come over me, knowing w/o a doubt that God will be there with him all week.

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