Loving The Skin You’re In {A Melanoma Survivor’s Perspective}

Back in my teen days, everyone tanned.

To be pale, especially in a border town dubbed “The Sun City,” was practically a crime. Tanning beds gained popularity, and “everyone was doing it.” Only the “have-nots” would neglect giving their skin that healthy, sunny glow.

One day, in one of my high school classes, the discussion turned to tanning, and why I couldn’t. The other kids, many of them from a genetic background that lent itself to beautiful brown skin, were full of tips and suggestions about how I could rid myself of this embarrassing problem of paleness. I felt like a stubby thumb in a sea of fingers.

But, in reality, it wasn’t about skin coloring.

We are God's Artwork

 

It was about the current definition of beauty dictated by some fashion magazine.

The pressure to be beautiful presses against us as women like an elephant rolling on its back. It smothers us, covers us, can hold us deep in its grasp.

So what is beautiful?

In the eyes of the world, beauty equals whatever the market dictates. Some years, “beauty,” according to fashion magazines, has been rail-thin, childish-looking women with no curves at all. Some years beauty was white-skinned women with enough curves to be mapped as a small mountain range. Sometimes beauty is defined as hard, athletic bodies with surgical alterations to replace curves worked off in intense exercise.

My point is that beauty, in human terms, changes.

But in God’s eyes, we are beautiful the way he made us.

In God’s eyes, we are all beautiful, the artwork of his heart.

He is our proud daddy and the beloved one of our souls. God’s definition of beauty doesn’t change. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says,

Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.

Although God designed our outsides, and they are, therefore, beautiful, what He cares about is inside in our hearts. I don’t know about you, but I’ve met some externally beautiful people who weren’t all that beautiful after all.

Would you be surprised to know I didn’t set foot into a tanning booth?

Thankfully, a strong sense of claustrophobia and a soul-deep discomfort with the idea of frying my skin in a box kept me away. But I still suffered far too many sunburns all because I was either too lazy to put on sunscreen or trying, unsuccessfully, to change my moon-pale skin into that elusive golden, sunny glow.

I was trying to be something I wasn’t so I wouldn’t stick out.

I’m not certain if the sunburns caused my melanoma, but my dermatologist says tanning booths definitely do cause melanoma. Some researchers believe sun damage early in life contributes to later cancers like melanoma. And hear me when I say melanoma is not something little, just a mole the doctor cuts off. It is vicious.

I almost lost my life. Another friend who battled melanoma around the same time I did is in Heaven as a result of the cancer.

Beauty is deceitful. Charm is in vain.

Love the skin you’re in.

Don’t spend time trying to change your appearance based on what some magazine tells you is popular. Whether it is tanning, starving yourself, or marking your body up, it all pales (a-ha) in comparison to what is really important: our hearts and loving Jesus.

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Teens

Do you love the skin in your in? What if you focused on changing your perspective rather than the “what it is” when it comes to your appearance, if what you want to change is a health risk {as opposed to eating right and exercising to be a healthy weight}?

Moms

Have you noticed the comments coming out of your mouth and your habits in terms of the message you’re conveying to your girls about beauty? Is it time to change your thinking and behavior, too?

Mentors

Is there a relationship you should step into with this conversation about finding beautiful in the skin you’re in? What about planning a Redefining Beauty event this fall?

3 thoughts on “Loving The Skin You’re In {A Melanoma Survivor’s Perspective}”

  1. Pingback: JenniferDyer.net » Ignoring the world’s standards of beauty.

  2. Excellent comments about our culture and its attitude about what is “perfect”. I love the idea of knowing that I am perfect in God’s eye, after all he knit me together in the womb a long time ago.
    It is really hard to get young girls to understand this concept when everyone around them is talking about the latest fads in the magazines, etc.

  3. So many young girls today need to hear this, thank you for starting the discussion Jennifer. I have wanted for a while to host a Redefining beauty event. I feel inspired to do that 🙂

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