It seemed like every time I looked in the mirror I saw the choices I had made. It weighed so heavily on me that I could still feel the regret, and the guilt bulged the veins out on my forehead whenever I thought about it.

That season, those years when I made poor decisions, they stared at me in the mirror, as if they were written on my forehead for all to see.

For years I carried around the pain and regret of decisions from days gone by. There were moments when I felt such regret over my decisions that I could barely focus on the here and the now. I replayed my past like a movie playing in slow motion in my mind.

I knew that my God had wiped me clean, covered me with His purity, covered me with His grace, yet that concept seemed so far away, so impossible for someone as dirty and broken as I was.

And then God sent me a gift in the form of a friend’s sweet words.

This friend reminded me of God’s truth with some tough love, words strewn together with a tone that dug down into my core. This friend spoke deeply to me, realizing my need for freedom. This friend spoke life. She reminded me that Jesus had died on the Cross to save me, to wipe away my transgressions. She reminded me of the foundational truths that I knew so well in my head, but hadn’t truly embraced in my heart. As she spoke, her words made those truths transfer from my head, to my wildly beating heart. It’s as if I could feel it wash through my veins. She made Truth anew within me.

My friend reminded me that each and every time I relived my sin, wallowed in guilt, and doubted His grace; it was as if I was re-crucifying my Savior all over again.

It was as if I was making Him pay over and over and over again, because I needed to see that His forgiveness was truly real. And although we are forgetful beings, people who consistently need to revisit Truth, that didn’t mean that I needed to replay the playbook of years long gone. She reminded me that it was done, it was finished, my transgressions were no more.

Romans 6:10
For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.

I decided to believe. To truly believe what God says about me from that day on. It was as if I turned the switch on and I finally saw; saw His saving grace having washed my sins pure as snow. I believed not that He would was me pure, but that He already had. It was finished, in Him I was complete.

Although the switched flipped on that day and helped me to see clearly, I still find days when I struggle to believe that I am clean. Some days I start to go back to that slow-motion movie-like replay of my past. But every time that happens, I find that I’m starting to stop the replay earlier and earlier. Hopefully one day I won’t even make it through the previews of the movie that is made up of my past regrets.

Hebrews 7:27

…who does not need daily, like those high priests,
to offer up sacrifices, first for His own sins and then for the sins of the people,
because this He did once for all when He offered up Himself…

My sweet friend who replays her past in her mind, I encourage you to believe. Believe that He has washed you clean; believe that you are forgiven and made complete in Him. Believe that you are loved, and allow Him to take the weight of your past off of your shoulders.

Link Up & Share

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