Raising Young Men of Honor

Honor, integrity, virtue, valor…

These are not words we hear often in our culture. They are old-fashioned, out-of-date, and something most people think are too high to strive for.

Or are they?

Moms of BoysIs it possible to raise sons to be men of integrity who live honorably before the Lord?

Yes, it is!

Men of honor are desperately needed in our culture today. The world scoffs at the word honor, yet you see in people’s hearts and the spirit behind their words a deep longing for integrity, for honor, for men of their Word.

Psalm 15:1-2

O LORD, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity,
and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.

But the question we mothers have to ask is, “How do we do raise our boys to be men of honor?”

This is a process that is best started when they are young, but, praise the Lord, it is never too late to start! God is the God of redemption, of second chances, of grace and mercy and living in the surrendered life. These are the things we must instill in our sons.

Proverbs is such a wonderful book, and you know what? It was written to young men. Proverbs is the place we moms need to camp out during the pre-teen/teen years for our sons.

The words of Proverbs speak deep truth to the passions (and I don’t mean sexual) of our sons. They are developing and growing in a longing for significance, to be meaningful in the world, to have their lives count for something. As women, sometimes it is hard for us to understand this (I know it is for me), but I believe it is hard-wired into their make-up. It is part of the strength that will make them men…and men of honor.

The key is to have this longing to be men of honor centered in the heart and will of God.

 

Our Sons, Their Faith

So what is the first step? To begin with salvation. Are our sons saved? Have they surrendered their lives to Jesus in faith and trust? If they have not, we need to help them in their journey of faith by first guiding them to find Jesus.

Perhaps they made a profession of faith when they were young. Are they struggling in that now? Do we freak out when we hear them express doubt or questions about their faith? Do we point them back to that time when they were 4 or 5 when they “prayed the prayer” and try to convince them that was real?

If that’s our response, I believe it is the wrong response.

Faith is not built on past glories.

It is built on the irrevocable call of God through His grace. If our sons are no longer sure that their decision of faith in their childhood settled their eternal destiny, then we need to take them back to the Word and to Jesus. We need to make clear the gospel and call them to examine their own hearts and beliefs today, in light of who they are and the choice they will make today. Whether it is a re-commitment or a new commitment, coming to the foot of the cross with more of an adult understanding and choice will make their faith their own, and not something they did to obey us.

Second, if their commitment to the Lord is firm in their hearts, then we challenge them to be…

Lovers of Truth

John 8:31-59 ESV “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

We must teach our sons (by example as well as by our words) to love the Scriptures and view them as the ultimate authority over their lives. We must lead them to the Word of God and let it speak to and change their lives. But we must be open to their questions and never give pat answers. God is big enough to handle their questions, and we can have faith that His Word can answer anything they ask.

Lovers of  Others

Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Jesus poured Himself out for the needs of others. We must be willing, and teach our sons to be willing, to do the same.

In our  culture of self-gratification, we must build in our sons a love for others and a willingness to place their own wants and desires second to the needs of others (of course this isn’t to the wants of others, but to their needs). There is balance here, but it comes from building a love in them like Jesus has for others.

Ambassadors of Jesus

2 Corinthians 5:20  “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”

Teaching our sons that we are sojourners here is vital to their understanding that our lives represent the King whom we serve. This is a huge part of growing as men of integrity. Everything we do and say, every act we commit, reflects the Lord. An ambassador for a country represents that country to the foreigners they live among. It is that way with us. We are not of this world, even though we live in it.

Responsible

Proverbs 6:6-8 “Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest.”

Our culture runs from responsibility. But one of the key components of godly manhood is being willing to embrace responsibility. God created Adam to have and take responsibility. The Bible word for it is dominion–the authority for the task in front of us (Genesis 1).

We work to teach our children (not that they always do a great job at it) to step up and take responsibility – good and bad – for what they’ve done or are called to do. It is not merely admitting when they’ve done something wrong, but being willing to do what needs to be done without being told. The true test of godly manhood is to do this without a spirit of grumbling or resentment, but with joy!

A Warrior at heart

 1 John 2:14b “I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.”

Conquerors, warriors, knights–these are words that resonate within the heart of every male. It is part of who God has designed them to be. We need to make sure that, as moms, we don’t try to purge this from their psyche. It is that strength, that longing to do battle, that victorious life that spurs our sons on. We just need to make sure that we are helping them realize which side they need to be fighting on!

It is never too late to help our sons grow to be young men of honor, of integrity, of virtue, of valor. God is in the business of changing lives, and it can start with our sons!

7 thoughts on “Raising Young Men of Honor”

  1. Pingback: I'm authoring on More To Be {and a link-up} - Teaching What Is Good

  2. Such a needed message for moms today!! I do believe the modern young mother is confused about how to lead her young man into being a man of honor and integrity! The messages in our society today tends to take the ‘warrior heart’ right out of them. Thanks for your wise words !!
    Blessings,
    Gay Idle/CaptiveHeart

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