I can still hear Mom’s concern echo in my head even today, years later. I can hear her say, “I just don’t want you to be disappointed if they don’t show up.” I remember rolling my eyes and insisting she was wrong, insisting they would show up, yet knowing that it was entirely possible they wouldn’t.
Because the truth is…that chair by the front window…I spent a lot of time there. That was my waiting spot. That was the spot where I would wait when my friends said they were coming to get me.
My heart always wondered if they would really show up.
As the clock ticked past the hour they said they’d come, I always wondered if they were just running late, or if they had fulfilled my fears and forgotten me. Or worse, had they decided I just wasn’t good enough to join them on this Friday, had I not made the cut?
Sometimes I didn’t. Sometimes they didn’t show up, sometimes they forgot me. Those were the heartbreaking moments, the moments when I was crushed, felt forgotten, and soaked in feelings of rejection.
Mom must have hated seeing me sit there in turmoil, watching me ponder the questions of whether I measured up, whether I mattered. And even worse, she probably feared they wouldn’t show up right along with me. She probably dreaded those moments of seeing disappointment fill my eyes.
How do you possibly comfort your teen when she feels forgotten…
When a friend lets her down?
When their words hurt worse than sticks and stones being hurled in her direction?
What do you say when the pain is deep and she feels alone?
As I sat in that chair waiting for my friends to drive up the street, I questioned my worth. I questioned whether I was good enough to be chosen to be with them. I questioned whether or not they loved me as I wanted them to. They held my worth in their hands, and I was desperate to hear that I was worthy of their love and attention.
That’s what all girls want to know, that’s what all girls long to hear…
[Tweet “Yes, you are worth it, you are chosen, you are loved.”]
As you witness your teen suffer at the hands of her peers, you have the opportunity to enter into one of the most soul-shaping, teachable moments in a girls life.
From the moment of the first sin, when Eve fell at the hands of our enemy, she doubted. She doubted her God, and she doubted who her God said she was. From that day forward, women have struggled to truly rest in their worth. The enemy’s lies still whisper deep into our being. It’s in those ‘questioning’ moments that you, as a Mom, a mentor, have the opportunity to do some deep, soul-building work with your daughter, your mentoree.
Rather then pat away the pain your daughter is experiencing, I challenge you to enter into her pain.
Ask her what she’s feeling, how she’s hurting. Listen to her, truly hear her heart, dig deep. Behind the tears you might just uncover those fears, those doubts. You might just find that she’s longing to hear that she’s worth something, she’s loved, she’s chosen.
This is when you have the opportunity to remind her of Truth — this is when you can help to rebuild what Satan consistently tries to tear down — a strong foundation of a Christ-centered identity.
[Tweet “Remind your beautiful daughter that she is chosen and beloved by the One True King.”]
Share with her how He sees her, as uniquely and beautifully designed by Him, the Master Artist. Remind her that her friends are sinners, that they fall just as she does, just as you do. Reminder her of His unfailing and unending love. Remind her that she is not defined by her friends, but instead defined by the God of the Universe. And last but not least, remind her of your love for her, how He has blessed your life with her as a gift. And then pray, pray with her, pray for her, pray over her. Pray that these Truths sink deep into her soul.
In the midst of dashed hopes and longing questions, your teen needs affirmation. Your teen needs to be covered in Truth, and she needs to hear that Truth from you, her mother, her mentor. Don’t let her go to bed wondering if she’s loved. Don’t let her hopes be dashed because of the rejection of this world.
Let’s dig deep and help our young ladies find their worth where it truly stands strong, on the Truth and foundation of Jesus Christ.
If you long to be your daughter’s mentor, but don’t know how, sign up for our free mentoring training course that kicks off on Tuesday, January 7th. It’s online. It’s free. Learn more here or click here to sign up.
Invite your Twitter Friends…
[Tweet ” I’ve signed up for the M2B Mentoring Study. Join me –> http://wp.me/P1CgP4-1E0″]
