A Question from a Real Teen:
Should I date a boy who is not a Christian, even though he is really nice to me? I’m unstable in my faith. Should I stay with him? Can I make him change?
Our Answer:
This question really touched home for me because it is my story, one that the Lord is still writing!
When you say non-Christian boy I assume you mean, not saved….or committed to the Lord. Maybe he believes in God but doesn’t know him or never thought about it. Obviously, if he was some one who completely denounces God that would be a more serious issue.
The real question is where are you in your walk with the Lord? Based on your concern for the Lord in your relationship, my understanding of being “unstable in my faith” may mean you love the Lord but are still living with one foot in the world and one foot in the kingdom. We call that sitting on the fence, not completely surrendered to the Lord. I have been there like so many others — we all have at one point or another. And in that place, you need to decide which way you want to go.
We all come to a place were we have to choose and surrender.
The key is knowing what the Lord’s will is in a situation.
James 1:5-8
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
When I was a young girl, I met a boy who was just awesome! He was really good to me! In fact, he treated me nicer than anyone I had ever known. He was so good to me that I fell head over heels in love. I was seriously thinking of going into missions at the time and instead I chose this boy. I knew he believed in God and I asked him if he would go to Church every Sunday with me. He promised he would, and I believed I could change him.
But the Truth is I am the one who God is changing…and that’s a good thing.
So if you think that you can change a boy, or anyone for that matter, the truth is that you can’t. We can’t change any one but ourselves.
And if we get ourselves involved in a relationship with someone who we feel we want to change, we’re looking for trouble. It’s especially complicated when it comes to matters of faith. As the Bible describes it, a Christian with a non-Christian is an unequally yoked relationship.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?
Yes, I had chosen this boy over the Lord, and that’s not something I’d want you to do. Certainly, I’ve experienced God’s mercy in my life and have felt His love and forgiveness the moment I cried out to Him. God was right there waiting all the time for me to turn back to Him. He never left my side, even when the the cares of my relationship and the cares of the world took over my life.
Mark 4:19
And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.
My story in still unfolding. I am married to this (boy) man for 27 years this March and we have 3 beautiful children~ gifts from the Lord. We have a good marriage, my husband is loving, kind and a hard worker, I love him dearly and he loves me. I thank the Lord for Him! But I walk this spiritual journey in my marriage alone (my husband supports me), and it makes my marriage is challenging. It is a hard road to walk at times, but my heart is surrendered and so in love with Christ. There is no turning back nor giving up on my marriage. My hope is in the Lord and His word that promises someday we will serve the Lord together…I anticipate that day with great joy!
Acts 16:31-32
They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.” 32 And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household.
What I will leave with you as one who has walked the road you may be traveling…is this…. have fun in your youth, build friendships with boys and girls, but give your heart to the Lord now while you are young and free seek His kingdom first. Delight yourself in the Lord and you will find that everything you ever dreamed or hoped for will begin to unfold even more than you ever could have imagined.
Matthew 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Psalm 37:4-5
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this…
I hope and pray you’ll seek the Lord for the right answer to your question. Ask Him for wisdom of the God…for He will give it!
James 1:5
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
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