On the day my life fell apart, it was a cool evening, and I was just about to head out the door for a run. My body was longing to hit the road, to hear my feet pound against the pavement. It had been a long while since I had gone running, and recent events made my mind crave that time, time alone with God on the open road. And then my phone rang.
Despite the fact that I didn’t want to answer, I felt a nudge inside, I knew I had to answer.
As my hand clutched the phone and I heard the words whispered over the line, I fell to the ground. My heart fell into my stomach, and tears streamed down my cheeks without reserve. It felt like my whole world was crumbling to the ground.
It was a phone call that changed my world, a world that I didn’t really want changed at all. But there I was, in the days that followed, facing a new reality.
Life would never be the same, and I knew I had a choice to make, a choice about how I would react.
And although everything in me wanted to curl up in a ball and question God’s plans with screams and fists thrown into my pillow, I decided to be faithful in trusting my God, a God who had never let me down.
So in the days and months that followed, I made intentional choices that helped to get me through. Some days I didn’t succeed in keeping my eyes focused on Christ’s goodness and plan, but most days I took steps to be intentional, and I believe that has made all the difference.
When Life Falls Apart
Here are 5 things I chose to do when my life fell apart…
- Go to God first.
Rather then run to friends or family, I chose to go to my God first. Sometimes this is difficult, especially for people like me who love to hear affirmation and encouragement verbally laid out before me. But no one, not even one, can offer the peace, comfort, and hope that Christ can offer us when we go to Him. I had to be very intentional to go to Him first.
- Seek wise counsel.
I got on the phone and called wise mentors, I scheduled coffee dates with those who I know could give me sound Biblically-based counsel, and I informed all of my praying friends into the situation. I invited wise counsel, and I believe their words and encouragement helped guide me on the tough days.
- Find an outlet.
When emotions get the best of you, sometimes a distraction isn’t a half bad idea. I’m not encouraging you to ignore the challenges before you and keep yourself pre-occupied, burying your head in the sand. Sometimes, however, our minds just get over loaded and a mini-break from the situation might not be a bad idea. Go for a run, browse some websites, watch a good movie. Finding a positive outlet can be a healthy way to help you stay strong during a long season of challenge.
- Stop and be.
I tend to go-go-go, without stopping to do a self-check. This is very dangerous and can cause me to crash and burn later. Don’t let this happen to you. When you feel like life is falling apart, make sure to stop and process all that you’re experiencing. Burying your feelings down deep without processing them will only prolong the processing, but it will eventually need to be done.
- Don’t make impulsive, life-altering decisions.
In the midst of my whirlwind emotional season there were many times that I wanted to act in a way that I now realize I would’ve regretted. Reigning in my impulsive desires to act ended up being a very positive thing in the midst of a chaotic season. Take the time to process through things, including wise counsel in your processing, before you act impulsively (even before you send that impulsive text or e-mail that you may regret later!).
When we feel like our whole world is falling apart, it is easy to react without thinking through the consequences of our actions and choices. It’s easy to let our fears, hurt feelings, and anger get the best of us. But those are the moments Christ calls us to — those are the moments He most likes the use, the moments when we are weak, weary and clinging to the Cross. For that is when His power is made perfect…in those moments when we are at our weakest.
How true your words are! This is what I emphasize on my blog Heart Choices. Life happens and not all good. But how we respond to our circumstances is key. I agree with your five choices.
Mandy, this is all such wise, encouraging advice. Your words are the gentle, kind arm around the shoulder. Thank you.
Such beautiful words of wisdom here. Thank you!
Mandy, I hope everything’s OK! This spoke to me about the steps God calls me to take when things are the worst. I find being still and being offline for a few days help, going to His Word daily and telling Him I trust Him even when I don’t know what’s going on, and I love seeing a Christian counselor when things are very stressful. But I’ve also found I need to ask for prayer sometimes, even publicly, and that’s helped me so much. If I’m talking to God and meeting with Him and trusting Him but really struggling through it alone, I’ve found the emotional support of others who can breathe truth and prayers into my life can be the spark I need. Thanks for sharing this!