I like this guy and we have gone out, but we keep getting into petty arguments, so I have tried to move on and the guy that I now like is kind of a bad influence on me, but I still kind of like the other guy. Who should I go for?
All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify. 1 Cor 10:23
All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Cor 6:12
Our cultural push of having a boyfriend makes it very difficult for us. This focus begins to control or master us. We define ourselves by whether or not we have a boyfriend. We feel inadequate if we can’t say that we have a boyfriend. So, in order to fulfill society’s push, we make poor, often unwise, sometimes very foolish and wrong decisions in choosing a boyfriend.
What’s the point of a boyfriend?
There are times in our lives where we are called to sacrifice and take on hard relationships, relationships that are all give and no take.
A romantic relationship is NOT one of those times.
A boyfriend should be a give AND take relationship. He should strengthen us and we should strengthen him.
- There should be healthy dialogue that helps to challenge us into deeper thinking.
- There should be respectful discussions to allow us to get to know one another better.
- There should be lots of opportunities to really begin to understand what makes each other tick.
We need to be able to get along with one another! If we are constantly getting on each other’s nerves or if every little thing we say sets the other one off, this has moved past a healthy relationship into one that is a major drain.
We should feel more comfortable, accepted, and respected by our boyfriend than by all our other relationships.
This doesn’t mean we agree on everything, but it does mean that our arguments are few and far between. And it means that the way we discuss our disagreements is in healthy dialogue, not in heated fights or petty bickering.
More than that, we should both be building into one another so that we mutually encourage each other in our relationship with the Lord.
Very often, in our minds, we put boyfriends into the category of high school accessory. If we are living our lives with the Lord, we need to view boyfriends as spiritual and emotional encouragement.
Our boyfriends should push us TOWARD the Lord, never AWAY from Him!
- If our boyfriend is a bad influence on us…
- If our boyfriend encourages us to sin (lie to parents, try things we are uncomfortable with, experiment with things we know are wrong)…
- If our boyfriend makes fun of our walk with God…
- If our boyfriend only goes to church because we want him to…
- If our boyfriend disrespects his parents and ours…
…we need to RUN in the other direction!
In the 2 choices of boyfriends above: the one we argue with all the time or the one who is a bad influence, which should we choose?
We choose neither one!
We are better to remain single than to have a constantly stressful or constantly compromising relationship.
We can learn that God has the BEST for us and we are worth waiting for His BEST. We do not have to have a boyfriend to be complete or acceptable. We can learn to grow into who we are with the Lord and pour our hearts into serving Him and enjoying the blessings (and godly friendships) He brings into our lives.
Don’t settle for second, third, or fourth best. Accept nothing less than God’s best!