I’m honored to have author and ministry leader, Wynter Pitts, with us today as we celebrate the release of her new devotional book for Tween Girls, For Girls Like You. Wynter is the founder of For Girls Like You, a ministry to girls that includes a print magazine. She has a drive to introduce young girls to Christian values so they can walk passionately and boldly. A native of Baltimore, Wynter resides in Dallas, Texas, with her husband, Jonathan, and their four daughters. Enjoy peaking into Wynter’s heart and listen closely to her challenge to encourage our girls to stand out!
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When my 2nd of four daughters was just 4 years old, one day she randomly came to me and asked that I take her earrings out. When I asked her why, she responded with, “I don’t want them anymore. I just want the holes.”
With a house full of girls, our fashion requests range from wearing skinny jeans with a tucked in shirt to wearing lime green tutus with red tights and purple boots! So a simple request to remove her earrings was easily granted!
About two days later when I picked Kaity up from school, she was dying for me to meet her new friend, Sophie. She went on and on about the various conversations and activities that she and Sophie shared that day. She was thrilled with her new friendship and I was excited for her! Later on that evening, while sitting at the dinner table Kaity said, “Sophie and I are twins. She has a pink coat and I have a pink coat. She has purple boots and I have purple boots. She doesn’t have any earrings just the holes, and I don’t have earrings just the holes.”
What I had just heard my four-year old express, very innocently, was that she desired to change something about herself in order “fit in” with her new friend, and it felt good.
Does this scene sound familiar?
She was only four! Scary right?
The reality is at one point or another we all have or will experience this same pressure. Not just with our kids but in our own lives.
[Tweet “We all like to fit it and feel accepted. It’s how we are wired as people.”]
It hurtsto be left out andcan be lonely in life when we perceive ourselves as being different. However Romans 12:2, tells us that being different is exactly what Christ has called us to.
“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.”
Empty ear lobes seemed to be the very beginning for my Kaity, but surely not the end. Who our children choose as friends will inevitably impact, reinforce, change or challenge their value systems. As parents our job is to empower them to stand out by giving them something and Someone to stand for.
How to Help Your Girl Stand Out
In lieu of this, here are a few steps you can take towards helping your girls resist the urge to be like everyone else:
1. Don’t judge her friends or make her feel bad for wanting to be friends with certain people. Telling her who she can and can’t be friends with, will likely cause resentment. Instead be intentional about getting to know them and their parents. Set up play dates, ask questions and show your daughter that you are interested in helping her cultivate true friendships.
2. Help her to develop her identity in Christ. Show her in the scriptures what God has to say about who she is and why He created her. Having and knowing purpose helps to develop confidence and sustains character.
3. Broaden your daughter’s perspective and encourage her to have a wide variety of friends. Go as far as challenging her to befriend the new kid or the kid that plays alone at recess. Often we have an idea of who we want our kids to be friends with; the smart kids, the athletic kids, etc. Challenge her to broaden her circle of friends by setting the example. When you attend a school function, don’t venture off into your private mommy click, but find the new mom, the quiet mom, or the mom you’ve never met!
Here is a special prayer you can pray with your girl daily as you encourage her to be who God created her to be!
Dear God,
Thank you for creating me. I am so glad you know what is best for me. Help me to not try to be like other people, but give me the courage I need to to stand out. I want to be like you! Amen!
If you have a tween daughter, get a copy of the new For Girls Like You here and visit For Girls Like You, for encouragement, conversation starters and tools to encourage you as you raise a generation of Christ-followers and world changers!
Click Here to Purchase for Girls Like You
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Thank you for this post! I had heard about the magazine but had not heard about the devotional book. Offering our children a scriptural foundation for how they should see themselves can not be over-valued. I look forward to checking it out.
Blessings!
Letetia,
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