Boomers, GenXers and Millenials . . . Together
If God designed for the generations to be interconnected, why are we more and more segregated? How come we don’t see a natural intertwining together?
Could the breakdown in relationships between the generations be a matter of misunderstanding, insecurity, festering wounds, and a changing of the times?
I’ve wondered if our modern-day families, which have been so deeply affected by divorce, is some of the cause of the problem? While two sets of in-laws and four sets of grandparents may be a blessing at times, it can have the opposite effect, too. Making time to see everyone isn’t easy. Plus, there’s an unspoken tension that exists—whether it’s feeling afraid of getting too close in one relationship at the risk of offending someone else, or avoiding cultivating deep connections out of hurt with fear of what might happen again.
Gone are the days of grandmother, mother, and daughter sitting around a kitchen table discussing life over a cup of coffee, whether it’s because of the dynamics of a blended family or simply being spread across the continent in search of jobs, education, and opportunities.
As families go, it seems that it’s a rarity to find ones settled in the same little town, sharing each other’s burdens and celebrating life’s triumphs. I spent my whole life, apart from my college years, in my hometown, and within minutes of my sister and mother. I never took for granted the blessing of their support and involvement in my children’s lives, as I was immersed in a community of people from around the world who craved that connection for themselves. Now that I live 350 miles away from my family, I’ve come to see the value of mentorship at a whole new level.
Being connected with women older and younger meets a need our soul craves — a need for family beyond the blessing of peer-friendships.
Do you have that longing too? But maybe you feel as many have shared with me — an obstacle keeping you from connecting with older women and younger women alike. As I’ve thought long and hard about this, I can’t help but think that part of the culprit is also our world of screens and social media.
Wouldn’t you agree that we live in a world where conversations beyond 140 character statements seem excessive?
We seek out advice from cyberspace rather than older sisters-in-Christ.
Our friendships are defined by followers.
Text messages have replaced phone calls.
Email overflows in inboxes while the mailbox collects cobwebs.
Photo albums are replaced by Instagram feeds.
But try explaining “hashtag” to a woman who thinks the pound sign is a button on a phone that hung in her yellow flowered wallpapered kitchen.
Is our ability to communicate stunted by the changing of times?
The Baby Boomers struggle with insecurity and fear, not knowing how to even dial a friend on a Smart phone. Think of the irony of that. Meanwhile GenXers are duped into believing they are hip on Facebook while Millenials roll their eyes as they run off to SnapChat, hiding behind the veil of disappearing images.
I’m not saying technology is bad, friends. I use it—and even depend on it for my business and communicating with my family. But I also see it’s negative impact as it creates a divide between the generations.
If I was afraid to seek out a mentor more than a decade ago because I didn’t want to look like I didn’t know what I was doing. Imagine how an older woman feels today!
She doesn’t even know how to communicate or connect in these modern times, and her pride may keep her quiet while she assumes her life and wisdom is washed up.
But I believe this broken bridge of communication between the generations doesn’t have to stay this way! On the contrary, there is a solution that begins with taking the time to understand one another better. Embracing our generational differences with the purpose of making accommodations for them, can lead to a greater sense of compassion and heart-deep connection.
Taking pause to consider, “Am I coming across approachable by an older women in the way I’m willing to communicate with them?” may be just the solution in finding a mentor. And likewise, “Am I willing to learn how to use technology so that I can connect with the next generation?” may be just the step worth taking to move into a place of purpose and impact.
If you’re heart is pricked by this potential, then I encourage you to take time to learn more about our generational differences and what it means to be a Biblical mentor. Grab a copy of Impact Together: Biblical Mentoring Simplified and dig in, and join us for our next mentoring study. I promise that this book will give you a thought-provoking look at the generational myths in the context of generational differences along with plenty of concrete instruction on how to mentor well.
