I walked into the room and saw women standing in small groups. They laughed, comparing notes about their summers. I stood alone with my three small boys, watching. Eventually I dropped off my children in their classes and made my way to the larger group, waiting for the women’s Bible study to begin.
In my head, I wanted anonymity, but my heart wanted to be known.
You might assume I was new to the group, but I had been working at this church for the past 8 years. Unfortunately, working half-time left me with few free “home days” for playdates, and not enough time at work to develop deep friendships with my coworkers. On Sundays, while the other moms connected over coffee and watched their kids guzzle Kool-Aid, I scurried around making sure that classrooms were ready for the next service or cleaned up after a long morning.
I was in a place a invisible visibility. A friendless leader. Weeping during nap-time when my loneliness became impossible to ignore.
What can a woman do when it seems that time is conspiring against her to keep her alone in this journey?
Can I share with you the thing that worked for me?
I walked into the room and saw women standing in small groups. They laughed, comparing notes about their summers. I stood alone with my three small boys, watching. Eventually I dropped off my children in their classes and made my way to the larger group, where the leader was asking for women to be small group leaders. With trembling hands, I checked “yes”.
That “yes” forced me to attend when my introverted self would rather stay home.
That “yes” forced me to start looking for other women standing alone and strike up a conversation.
That “yes” forced me to voice my thoughts and feelings, and I suddenly discovered that others had the same thoughts and feelings.
[Tweet “Where two or three are gathered, loneliness recedes. Friendships are kindled. “]
Are you feeling friendless today?
Maybe you are in the fire of raising a child with special needs, homeschooling, full-time school or work, or simply the busyness of a must-do-everything life.
It’s quite possible that no one is going to reach out to you. That’s just life. We’re all self-centered. But if you can be the one to step out, you will find others along the way. Others who are grateful that you took the step they couldn’t.
What could it be for you? A book club? An online friendship where real conversations take place? A women’s Bible study? A monthly coffee date? Roller derby?
Or maybe taking our resources and forming your own Brave Women group?
I encourage you to find something that brings you life, and ask someone to join you in it. Who knows what new friendships you will find?
Cultivating friendships takes time and work, but it is always worth the effort.
To read a deeper reflection of my friendship journey, check out this post.