Two Ways to Respond When Your Girl Faces the Hard Days {Giveaway}

We’re thrilled to have Teri Lynne Underwood with us sharing from her heart the real struggles and joy of walking through life with our girls. Teri Lynne is a pastor’s wife, ministry speaker, and Bible teacher. As the founder of www.PrayersforGirls.com, Teri Lynne is a cheerleader for girl moms and the author of Praying for Girls: Asking God for the Things They Need Most. Connect with Teri Lynne on her blog, Facebook, and Instagram.

Be sure to read through to the end for a sweet giveaway!


 

She climbed in the car crying. Again.

I knew better than to ask. My girl needs space to work through situations before she’s ready to talk. Instead we drove to Sonic and ordered cheese sticks and slushies.

When the words began, they rushed out like water from a dam just released.

“Why do they hate me?” she asked, eyes full of tears and hurt.

What do you say? How do you encourage your daughter when she is in the middle of a hard season?

But even on the worst days, one thing remained true: God is good. It was His goodness at work in her, rooting out the parts of her character that didn’t reflect His. (p. 167, Praying for Girls).

All I wanted to do was wrap her up in emotional bubble wrap and then let loose on the girls who seemed to have made it their life’s mission to both attack and ignore my girl. Neither of those were realistic options.

So, I did what comes least naturally to me — I listened.

When Your Girl Faces the Hard Days

 

I became the safe place for her to share the hurtful words and deliberate snubs she faced almost every day. As much as I wanted to tell her those girls were jealous and petty and not worth her time and attention, in my heart I knew she needed my attention more than she needed my advice.

There were important lessons to be learned during her sophomore year. And the lessons weren’t just for her.

While she was figuring out how to deal with difficult people, I was reminded that I can’t fix everything for her.

Almost two years removed from those painful days, it’s easier to see how God was at work, how He was stripping away all the things in her life that were keeping her from Him. But we all know, sanctification isn’t easy.

And it may be even harder to watch it happening in our children’s lives than it is to experience it in our own.

What can we do when we can’t make the hard parts of life easy for our daughters (or sons)?

In seventeen years of parenting, I’ve learned through trial and error (mostly error if I’m honest) two things that make the greatest impact.

Presence

My friend Natalie has often told me that as our children get older, the stakes get higher. It’s true, of course. We are staring down my girl’s senior year and suddenly life feels very real and scary.

During their teenage years, our kids need us to be there. Not with our platitudes but with our presence. Oh sure, there will be times when we need to talk with them about the situations they face. But far more often, we get to be the safe place where they can process and work through their experiences and emotions.

The gift of presence is one of the most important things we give to our children. Don’t ever feel like it’s not!

 

Praying for our children is one of our greatest responsibilities as mom.

Prayer

I didn’t always know what or how to pray for my daughter. That’s why I started praying Scripture. As I read and studied the Bible, I would shape my prayers for my girl and for myself around what God had revealed about Himself and His purposes.

I’m not exaggerating when I say it was a game changer for me. The more I prayed with His Word as my guide, the more boldness and confidence I felt. And, as I shared this practice with others, I found they experienced the same things.

Praying for our children is one of our greatest responsibilities as moms. But we often find ourselves uncertain about what that looks like and how we should do it.

I wrote Praying for Girls: Asking God for the Things They Need Most because I know what it is to not know what to say or how to pray. Focusing on five areas of our daughters’ lives, this book will encourage and equip you to pray with confidence and boldness. There are 200 Scripture-based prayers as well as activities designed to help you connect with your daughter and share what you are praying with her.

Raising our children is no small thing. It’s scary and exciting, full of joy and trepidation. But we don’t have to do it on our own. God has given us His own wisdom and insight through His Word. We can study it and learn it and pray using what we’ve read as a guide to lead our daughters into a vibrant, fulfilling relationship with Him as they grow up.

How do you know when to speak and when to be quiet when your daughter is facing a difficult season?

What are some ways you have seen God sanctify your child through hard relationships or situations?

Available on Amazon and Wherever Books are Sold

Your purchase through this link supports the ministry of More to Be.


G I V E A W A Y

Would you like to win a copy of Praying for Girls: Asking God for the Things They Need Most?  

Leave a comment sharing the topic that you feel is most pressing to pray for your girl about in this coming school year. Winner will be drawn on August 11th!

Thanks to Bethany House for providing a complimentary copy!

Giveaway of Praying for Girls Plus $75 OFF Life Coach Training or the MOMent Coaching Package

SUPER AWESOME OPPORTUNITIES for YOU to GROW

Do you struggle to listen well to your daughter and not jump into advice-giving mode before she’s ready to hear your opinion?

Well, you’re not alone, but you don’t have to struggle in this area anymore. You can learn how to effectively listen and ask life-changing questions through the online 10-week Life Coach Training Course. Even if you never want to start a business or ministry as a coach, the skills you’ll gain in this course will radically change your parenting. How do I know? Because these skills made me into a much better mother — and that’s what my children have to say!

If you purchase a copy of Praying for Girls, you can get $75 off a Life Coach Training Course (must enroll by August 12th).

I’ve never offered a discount like this before, but I am doing so now because I believe so strongly in the kind of skill you’ll gain and the way it will benefit your family. All you have to do is send me your receipt when you register for the course. To get the process started, drop me a note using the contact form or register here. If you’re not ready for training, you might be interested in working one-on-one with me.

You can get $75 off the MOMent Coaching plus Mentoring program for moms with the purchase of Praying for Girls (good through September 1st).

Feel free to drop me a note to set up a free consultation. I’d love to support you take the next intentional and purposeful step in your motherhood journey.

26 thoughts on “Two Ways to Respond When Your Girl Faces the Hard Days {Giveaway}”

  1. Our oldest is starting Kindergarten in just a few short weeks. At the end of preschool and even this summer, we have already struggled with the “mean” girls and “bullying” It breaks my heart to hear such a small girl say out loud such big emotions and hurts. And this post is so on point. There were no words I could say that would magically make it better for her. We listened as she cried. And of course mama tried not to cry along with her. All we could do is remind her how accepted and wanted she is to Jesus. This book could not come out at a more perfect time. The 2 biggest things I’m praying over her as she starts school are discernment when it comes to picking out her friends. Because all summer, even though a girl was mean to her, she still thought they were best friends. And then choosing kindness over anything she might be tempted to choose over it when girls aren’t the nicest to her.

    1. Kindergarten? Wow. Such a hard thing, isn’t it? Wisdom for our girls as they choose friends (and in all relationships!) is such a huge thing. We’ve always tried to remind our daughter that she’ll never regret being kind, even when she doesn’t receive kindness in turn. But it’s hard, hard, hard!

  2. I think we need to find a balance between what I think she needs to learn and what she wants to do for school. And I would also like to expand her diet. She turns 4 next week and definitely still eats like a toddler.

    1. Food choices — you never imagine what a big ordeal that will be, right? But I love that you are already wanting to help her develop healthy eating habits … it will pay off when she is older! Even thought it may be a tough season now. 🙂

  3. So good to see Terri Lynne!!! I have been using the monthly prayer calendars for a while now and it’s been awesome. My daughter just started middle school and I worry about her continuing to be herself. Middle school is a time of transition for both of us and I am trying to remain calm. I love what you said about “the stakes getting higher” the older kids get, that is a very true statement.

    1. Hi Tiffany! Thank you for your kind words … I always love to hear from moms in the Prayers for Girls community and LOVE knowing the prayer calendars are helping. Middle school is hard but it’s also a great time to dig in and stay the course.

  4. My oldest starts Kindergarten tomorrow. Prayers for wisdom & courage as she makes new friends, learns to use her voice better when asking her teacher for help, speaking up when others are not being nice, and rembering that she is smart, beautiful, chosen by God, & unque no matter what anyone at school says.

  5. My girl just started her freshmen year of high school after being homeschooled all eight years of elementary school. She has a pure heart and a desire to serve others. I just pray that she continues to maintain her innocence and heavenly motives as she journeys through high school.

  6. I have two daughters: for one I am praying for a heart that desires to honor God and for the other I am praying for a healthy self-image in His eyes.

    God bless your ministries.

    — Gina W.

  7. Needed to hear this. My 15 year old daughter has been crying daily for the past 3 weeks and I feel helpless. She would seek my company and say to me “let’s hang out ” . I would get frustrated at her because she wasn’t saying anything or doing anything during the hang out time. I feel so bad now. I should of just sat with her even if “nothing” was being accomplished.

  8. With my twin daughters beginning their sophomore year and moving up to the high school; my prayers surrounding their friendships & relationships with godly influences, the balance of their time, & drawn away from any negativity in social media (esp. snapchat, ugh!) & that God will grip their hearts; creating a love for His Word and truly begin to know the Lord and truly learn to live in Christ’s purpose for their lives.

  9. Starting our second year of homeschool, we are still trying to figure out what works for us; my oldest daughter is the main homeschooler (with a little for the toddler to entertain him); my prayer is to find what works best for both of us & to cultivate her love of learning. ?

  10. I hope I am not too late for the giveaway! God gave me 2 girls … 7 years apart. My youngest turns 6 next Wednesday. My oldest will be 13 next month. She broke her arm almost 2 weeks ago and has struggled with where she fits in for the majority of the last few years. My youngest has special needs that prevent her from doing a lot of the “normal” activities of childhood. I have chronic pain and chronic illness that give me my own challenges. At the top of my list: healing for both girls and letting them see God’s hand at work in their every day lives.

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