Relationships.  They can be complicated, messy, and challenging at times.  But they can also be very rewarding and oh-so -glorious.  God has designed you to share your life with others.  High school is a time where you will make friends that may last throughout your life time.  These gals, and guys, will be the ones you share your life, hopes and dreams with on a day-to-day basis.

But what happens when one of those friendships begins to lean towards something more?

How can you maintain a safe relationship with a guy who likes you, and whom you like back, when you have decided not to date in high school?

I understand the butterflies you must be feeling.  I know the tension you may be experiencing as you balance the decision you made in your heart to not date during your high school years with the way you are feeling for this certain someone.

4 Ways to Cultivate Safe Relationships

I’d like to share a few tips that I believe will help you to cultivate a safe relationship with a guy, while at the same time maintaining a friendship and not feeling pressured to take it to the next level.

1.  Admit your feelings, but reinforce your boundaries. 

It’s probably no surprise to you or the guy that you both have feelings for one another.  So go ahead and get that out in the open just to clear the air.  At the same time, it’s important to reinforce your boundaries.  Remind one another of the commitment you made to the Lord to give Him your high school years (hopefully, he has made this same commitment).  Agree to enjoy one another’s company in a safe way while getting to know each other as friends.

2. Continue to pursue your friendship, but in group settings only.  

I know a few young couples who met at 14 and are now happily married.  It wasn’t always easy just being friends.  But they walked in their convictions and are so thankful they did.  One of the ways you can continue to cultivate a friendship with someone is in a group setting.  After-school functions, youth group and even family outings are great ways to cultivate healthy relationships.

3. Limit your contact through social media, phone, and text.  

In this information age, it’s normal to communicate with your friends through social media, phone calls, and texts. But when it comes to a person of the opposite sex, especially someone you are “interested in,” you want to limit your contact in these areas.  A quick text or response on a social media forum would be acceptable.  However, it’s best to refrain from long chats through social media messages so as to protect yourselves from entering into “intimate” conversation with one another.  You want to refrain from going too in depth with each other on a personal level, so as to protect your heart and maintain a healthy balance in the relationship.

4. Pray and ask the Lord for His will.

Although mentioned last, this is by far the most important.  Pray and ask God what His will is for you concerning relationships.  Encourage the one you have your eyes set on to get alone with Jesus and seek His will as well.  I know from experience that when you place your relationships in God’s hands, fully and completely, He will not disappoint.

My prayer is that these steps will help you to protect your heart as you cultivate Godly friendships.  I believe God has someone for you.  It’s okay to take your time getting there.  Enjoy your high school years!

 

Teens

Which one of the four ways suggested to protect your heart can you put into practice this week?

Moms

Would you be willing to make time in the next three days to talk about this topic with your tweens and teens?

Mentors

How can you bring this topic into the discussion with your mentorees?

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