It is amazing what my eyes settle upon. The greed within my soul pushes my glance toward distractions that capture my attention and drive me away from the cross. My insecure heart longing for promises of peace and protection from life’s trials derail my gaze away from my Savior.
It isn’t like I do this on purpose.
It simply happens, as commonplace dew on the spring morning grass.
I look for something other than Jesus to meet my needs as I fall into a habit formed long ago in an attempt to control my world instead of living in a posture of surrender trusting my faithful God and His broad-reaching protection.
It is a silly way to live. It only leads to despair.
But it is changing.
Because of this pursuit of hope. This new perspective of learning God-lessons.
It is changing me.
He is changing me.
It hurts a wee little bit to see reality while discovering oneself from the inside out.
But because I know there will be growth, it feels good.
I sense it deep.
But now, Lord, what do I look for?
I’m learning to look for You.
And my hope, in you Lord, is growing.