I had only been in high school a few weeks when it happened. That morning I got up, got dressed and I put on my newest purchase: slick black Mary Jane pumps. I couldn’t wait to wear them! I was so excited to get to school that day. Why? It wasn’t because of a boy or because we would be getting out early that day (got to love those days!). It was because I was feeling confident. I actually felt beautiful for once. I knew my outfit was cute, my hair was working with me, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I felt worth something when I stepped out the door.
All was well until I got to fourth period. On the way down to the computer lab with my class, it happened. I fell…HARD…like took a mighty tumble down the flight of stairs hard. And all because I took a misstep in my new Mary Jane pumps. Then the laughter started. I was humiliated. I no longer felt beautiful or on top of the world. I felt alone and like an outsider.
“Great! Now I’m going to be the girl who fell down the stairs all year!”
I picked myself up and walked down the rest of the stairs, with my confidence shattered.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to crawl into a dark hole and never have to come back to school again. The school bell couldn’t ring fast enough that afternoon.
Has this ever happened to you?
I think we have this image built up in our minds of what confidence should be. We spend a lot of time thinking about how others might perceive us versus how we actually need to perceive ourselves.
My confidence was shaken when I fell because people saw me and laughed at me. Which in turn caused me to feel like an outsider, like the other students somehow saw me differently because I had fallen. I feared that they would judge me and never forget that it happened.
But friends, I missed one crucial thing in the midst of my tumble.
I was depending on material things to make me feel like I was worth something.
You see, someone already thought that I was worth everything. Not because of my shoes or hair, but because He loves me so much. He thinks I am worth so much that He sent His one and only son to die for me, and for you.
The neat thing about God is that we don’t need cute shoes or perfect hair to impress Him. We don’t need to pretend to be confident in ourselves when we’re having a bad day (or when we take a tumble!). We just need to come to Him with a willing heart to serve and we need to be willing to trust in His plan for our lives. We don’t need to worry that He’ll perceive us in a different way because He already knows everything about us. There is no pretending with Him. How cool is that?!
God wants us to look to Him for confidence in ourselves because He sees our true beauty. He doesn’t care about our outfits, makeup, or shoes; He only cares about our hearts. And He is wild for us!
Psalm 45:11 MSG
The king is wild for you.
God does this other really cool thing for us. No matter how many times we fall, He always helps us back up. Whether it’s a physical fall like mine was, or an emotional or mental fall, He always extends a hand to us. It’s up to us whether or not we reach for His hand in return.
Will you reach for it today? No judgments or pretending?
What are some things that have broken your confidence in the past?
Do you have a story of how God has extended a hand out to you when you have felt alone or worthless?
If you have a moment where you start to feel unworthy, I want you to remember…
You are worthy.
You are beautiful.
You are special.
You are a child of God.