We all desire healthy, meaningful, satisfying relationships with others.
We ultimately want to get along with friends, without all the drama (no matter our age!).
We want to feel loved by a special someone — a best friend now, a boyfriend at some point, hopefully a husband one day, and even through having children.
We want to know that we are unconditionally loved by our parents and siblings, even when we experience a less than perfect life.
We want to feel connected to others, as somehow that connection influences our sense of worth and creates a place for us to belong.
Our longings for authentic and meaningful relationships are normal because that is the way we were designed. God made us to be loved, by Him and others, and to be connected in life giving relationships. The problems we face in our relationships are both a result of sin and unrealistic expectations of others, or of God. Our culture has perpetuated the idea that we need others to validate our lives and define our worth. On the contrary!
Our worth is defined by who we are in Christ, and our relationships are design to glorify God through how we serve one another.
If we’ve fallen into a pattern of defining our lives by our relationships, we’ll find ourselves truly disappointed and frustrated. A boyfriend cannot be a public stamp of approval, indicating, “I am loved.” A spouse ought not to be a security blanket. Parents cannot become a means to an end. Relationships cannot be about making us happy, validated, or feeling valued.
This is not at all what God intended.
God designed us for a personal relationship with Him through faith in Jesus Christ, and from the overflow of that relationship, we are made to pour out His love on others (Philippians 1:9; 1 Thessalonians 3:3).
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