I’m so thrilled to share with you today the wisdom of one of my dearest friends, Joyce.  She is a woman of the word deeply committed to sharing the hope of Christ with others. As a pastor’s wife and mom of grown children, Joyce has a truly special perspective on a question faced by every young man and woman: When is the right time to say, “I love you”?

As a result of walking through this life stage with her own children — two sons and a daughter — Joyce compiled these words of wisdom to offer them guidance and encouragement. If you are a young man or woman, we pray these words encourage you in your relationship journey as you seek to guard your heart while preparing yourself for God’s design for marriage. If you are a mom or mentor, we pray this offers you guidance as you seek to impact the next generation with grace-filled words and wise advice.

When is the right time to say “I love you”…

• When your friendship has stood the test of enough time to determine that you are prepared to commit yourself to a long-term, exclusive relationship, not at a point of uncertainty or confusion in your relationship, or in a moment of panic over the future.
• When the other person shares commitment and devotion to you by being the first to say, “I love you,” and not in order to manipulate them into saying “I love you” after you have already done so.
• When you are convinced that your heart feelings are genuine love, not merely emotions or hormones or physical desire.
• When you are ready to look each other in the eye and say it face to face, not first in written form or by text or whatever impersonal mode.
• When you are clear about your definition or understanding of true love, not just an indescribable, mushy, tingly, “phoofy” feeling.
• When you are certain you’re being realistic about loving this person, faults and all, not just in love with your imagination of who you think or want this person to be to you.
• When you are first so satisfied in your relationship with God that this human relationship takes a back seat and you can hold this person with an open hand, not clinging with a clinched fist because you need this relationship and person to fulfill you.
• When your parents have indicated their approval of your relationship.

{We thank Joyce for the permission to use these words originally penned for her sons and daughter.}

How do these words of wisdom influence and inspire you to guard your heart?

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