Three Reasons Our Culture Doesn’t Value Motherhood

Every mother has to make hard choices.

Sometimes the choices we make — the ones we believe are in the best interests of our families — don’t always match up with common sense. They aren’t applauded by everyone. Sometimes they’re discouraged.

We both decided that when we became mothers, we wanted to make it our goal to highly value our role.

We wanted the well-being of our children to rank just below the attention and priority we gave to God and our husbands. Sometimes we failed miserably. And we still do.

For me and my family (Melinda), this meant working part-time from home since my children were born. This gave me a way to earn some extra money but still be available and flexible for my children. It has also meant turning down countless opportunities for more money and more prestige over the last 16 years.

For me (Kathy), it meant realizing that my college education was more for my own education and not necessarily to produce income — at least during the child-raising years. It was difficult, especially when the kids were small, to make peace with the fact that public recognition for my sacrifice of time and energy was never going to materialize.

So why is our culture so hostile to motherhood?

Why don’t we always receive accolades for placing children as a high priority in our lives? What could be more important, right?

Well, motherhood doesn’t measure up to our culture’s standards in the following ways:

1.)   Motherhood does not increase our bottom line.

We would both have a lot more money in the bank if we hadn’t esteemed our children quite so highly. There’s no doubt. This is where our decision flies in the face of common sense.

But how does God value children? He says that children are “a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalm 127:3). The dividends our children reap by our presence, availability and investment in them can’t be logged on a balance sheet.

If our children are a heritage and a valuable reward, surely God places high esteem on the women caring and sacrificing for them.

2.)   Motherhood does not make us feel good all the time.

How many times have we heard, “You deserve to be happy”? Our culture tells us, “Our right to happiness is one that we should exercise at all times — no matter what the cost. If you’re unhappy, you need to do something to change that.”

Motherhood, as we know, is uncomfortable at times. We have to make difficult and unpopular choices and sacrifices.

What did Jesus say about this? Well, we couldn’t find a single verse that said fulfilling God’s calling on our lives was a cushy ride lined with Starbucks. Quite the opposite: “But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it” (Matthew 7:14 NLT).

Clearly, God places high value on taking the narrow road.

3.)   Motherhood’s sacrifices are often invisible.

No one knows the hours of sleep sacrificed. The money, time and effort poured into keeping a chronically ill child well. The tantrums (either toddler or teenage) that you’ve successfully navigated are not front-page news.

What did Jesus say about the value of self- sacrifice? “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:7)

If we’re looking for our value as mothers from our culture, we’ll never end our search. And we’ll never measure up. They use a different yardstick — one that’s always changing, by the way.

But God’s standard and value for motherhood is eternal. Our pursuit of eternity is always valued by Him. {click to tweet}