Have you ever dropped a pack of Mentos into a 2-liter of Diet Coke?
Well, it’s pretty explosive…kind of like hormones, especially in the teens and early twenties. Even the slightest touch or visual image can send off geysers of desire.
Obviously, Solomon, author of Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon in the Bible, had never seen the Diet Coke Mentos experiment, but he might like it as a visual aid alongside his warning:
Song of Solomon 3:5
Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you … do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.
His sentiment was so important, he wrote it two other times in 3:5 and 8:4.
Use with Caution…
Why would Solomon, the man with a 1,000 wives, write a cautionary statement about love? Perhaps because desire tore him to shreds. His many wives led his heart away from the Lord. His family was a tangled mess. Caving to desire did Solomon no favors.
Love and sexual desire are natural, God-given, and can be a blessing in their proper time and context. They drive us to marriage. Sex bonds us chemically to our spouses. It’s God’s version of marriage superglue.
But as we see from Solomon, we should be masters of our desires and keep them in proper perspective until “the appropriate time.” Otherwise, it can tear us apart.
Consider this…
What is the end goal in dating? Is it to find someone to marry? If that is true, then one would be wise to consider Solomon’s warning about the appropriate time and not rush into a relationship no matter how much you like the guy.
Why? Because although attraction is natural, it is also like a roller coaster. Once the ride starts, it’s moving whether you want it to or not.
The more time you spend with a guy, paired off in the natural one-on-one relationship, the deeper the ride plunges. Even if you have strong boundaries set up to guard against physical involvement, you are still growing to love and care for that person on a level deep enough to impact you for the rest of your life.
In light of that, let us consider another of Solomon’s warnings:
Guard your heart above all else for it is the source of life.
Add to that what Solomon said in another book he penned:
He has made everything appropriate in its time.
For the Record…
Love is important to God. After He created Adam, but before He had fashioned Eve, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”(Genesis 2: 18) We have a God-given desire to connect with people, and that is a good thing. And this desire is not just about sex. It’s about bonding with a person on deep, intimate levels.
Ask yourself:
- Does this hinder you serving God?
- Are you at a point where you are able to be married?
- Does it take your focus off the Lord and the other important aspects of your youth, such as family, education, and friendships?
- Does it threaten to consume your mental and physical energy, leaving you empty for anything else?
- Will it be a roadblock to keeping the goals of purity you have set for yourself?
- Is this an appropriate time to arouse and waken love?
One last thought…
Because we desire these deep relationships and often try to satisfy them with things like dating, consider falling in love with God first before giving heart to a human guy. I’ve often heard author and speaker Dannah Gresh say, “A girl should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
Why should we be lost in God first? The rest of the Ecclesiastes 3:11 gives understanding: “He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end.” God has written eternity in our hearts.
Our true craving for love and our soul’s desire is to know God. {click to tweet}
TEENS & 20SOMETHINGS
What do you think you should do about dating? Have you talked with your parents or mentors for their perspective on what’s best for you? How does that line up with Scripture? How can you resist the pressures of friends in light of your own beliefs on what is best for you?
MOMS
Have you thought about the Biblical principles that can guide your viewpoint on dating for your teens? What about making time to talk with them about it, without it being about the rules and instead focus on the philosophy?
MENTORS
Have you planned a dating discussion night with your mentoree(s)? Check out the Dig Deep resource on Dating to help you.
Go deeper into this topic with our FREE Truth and Topic download on Dating.
I love this. Because I had been insanely boy crazy and made some really stupid choices where guys were concerned, I literally quit dating for a few years in my early 30’s. After my 2 yr “sabbatical” I met my husband and we were married just 8 months later. Dating with a purpose beats the heck out of dating-just-to-be-dating!
Hi Diane- Thanks for your comment. We’re glad this post resonated with you!
Amazing post truly inspirational!