Are you looking for a way to intentionally to invest in time with your daughter? Would you like to be able to lay the foundation for communicating and connection while she’s young so that it’s a natural process when she’s older? Do you want to see your husband or a male figure speak life into your daughter’s heart?
Author and speaker, Dannah Gresh has collaborated with her husband in the 8 Great Date series for moms and dads to use with their young daughters (ages 8 – 12), because this is the time to invest in a young girl’s life. Your daughter’s identity and worldview is taking shape at a rapid rate, making this season of her life incredibly formative, not only when it comes to connecting with mom and understanding her identity but also when it comes to understanding boys and making decisions about how to relate to them!
As a mom of teen, tween, and young girl, I can promise you that these years vanish into distant memories before you have a chance to make them.
Unless you stop to seize THIS moment with your girls, the tyranny of the urgent and the demand of commitments will erode every second together.
And that means your chance to impart your values and a Biblical foundation will quickly disappear before you have the established relationship needed to face the turns and twists of teenage-hood.
So as this new year approaches, I encourage you to consider using the 8 Great Date series with your girls. Tuck it under the Christmas Tree with a calendar marking off your pre-set dates. Talk with your husband or a man that could speak truth into your girls life about being intentional to do the this together. You’ll never regret the time invested in connecting with your girl.
The Heart Behind the 8 Great Dates Series
Take a few minutes to consider what Dannah Gresh has to say about this series. Some of her statistics are alarming and motivating!
You’ve had a lot of success with the other books in the 8 Great Dates series, all of which are geared for moms and daughters. Why did you feel it was so important to get dads and daughters connected?
We want to be a part of bringing the hearts of daughters to their dads.
The way a girl interacts with her dad determines to some extent how she will interact with young men and men as she grows older. For example, a girl who has a healthy relationship with her dad seems to be more likely to be settled and satisfied in her relationships and doesn’t go about being boy-crazy. Conversely, many studies on fatherless homes reveal that the absence of a dad puts a girl at risk of dating earlier, seeking older guys as boyfriends, and even perhaps a risk of an earlier sexual debut.
Some tween’s parents think it’s too early to be concerned about boys, claiming that at this age it’s just “cute” and harmless. What’s your take when you hear someone say that?
Being in a dating relationship for six months or longer is a significant risk factor for early teen sexual activity.
Can you see why it might not be “cute” for our 8-12 year olds to be boy crazy or to have multiple boyfriends while they are still in the fourth grade? If your daughter develops the pattern of “needing” a guy when she is eight or nine, she’s going to be in many six-month relationships in her teen years. That’s not wise. Let’s help her stay off the boy crazy train.
Approximately fifty percent of sixteen-year-old girls are sexually active, and most are boy crazy.
In the survey of 1,200 Christian teens which was conducted to write Lies Young Women Believe, I was heart-broken to find just how dependent Christian girls are for guys. It didn’t matter what school type—public, private or home—68% of Christian girls said they’d be happier if they had a boyfriend. There was no other lie we uncovered that was as equally prevalent among all three school types. Doesn’t matter how you’re choosing to educate your girl, she’s at risk to feel a pull to “need” a guy when she’s in high school.
How can a mom encourage a reluctant dad to intentionally connect with his daughter?
Give him a copy of the book to read some of what we wrote in the early pages about how important dad is, share with him a memory you have with your dad, or just ask him but be kind and positive. It’s so important not to nag him into the relationship and to remember that dads do it differently than moms. Moms tend to be very organized, formal, and pre-planned. Dads tend to do it on the fly and in the moment. Let him be a guy! (We would not be opposed to leaving the book in the bathroom for him to discover! Great things happen in bathrooms.)
What encouragement can you give the single mom?
In Dannah’s book, Six Ways To Keep The Good In Your Boy, she interviewed Angela Thomas who spent many years as a single mom. No one ever wakes up and says, “Gee, one day I’d like to parent and I’d like to do it all alone.” It’s not by choice. We know that. But you can be intentional and make a choice about putting a male leader into your daughter’s life. And uncle. Grandfather. Youth pastor. We were inspired by that when we connected with Angela. She made sure he boys had godly men in their lives and there are ways to do that. You can do that for your boys and your girls. Pray about it. Seek advice. And be confidence that God is a Father to the fatherless.
To learn more about the 8 Great Date series, visit secretkeepergirl.com.
When you purchase your copy of 8 Great Dates for Moms & Daughters or Understanding Boys from Amazon, your purchase supports the ministry of More to Be.
For more on the topic of guiding your tweens and teens through dating relationships, download this FREE resource and be sure to subscribe to our weekly email so that you don’t miss helpful posts and resources like this one.
[mc4wp_form]
