Have you struggled to find a church that feels like a right fit for you or your family?
Do you wonder how to discern a church’s theology and understand what their values look like in action?
Are you’re unsure how to know if a new church will feed your faith, spur you on, and be willing to make time to do life together outside of Sunday services?
Maybe you’re concerned about getting hurt again, especially after what you’ve been through with your last church. You’re not alone if that is how you feel.
Finding a church can be a daunting and overwhelming process. That’s because there is no perfect church.
What we crave through a church is a yearning for eternity and fellowship with Jesus face-to-face. We can’t ever find that on earth, but we can come close as long as our expectations are realistic.
God doesn’t call us to find a church that makes us happy. He doesn’t tell us to find one that meets our needs. As a matter of fact, our first-world expectations of a church is likely a far cry from what God intended for us.
What is a church intended for?
Chances are high that we might be looking for a church in which we can belong, be served, and feel a sense of unconditional love. But the church is about so much more than that. A church, as it is designed by God, is to be a place devoted to:
Teaching of the Word of God with reverence and authority (Hebrews 4:12).
Recounting the faithfulness of God and joining together in praising Him (Psalm 78, Ephesians 5:19).
Worshipping God and heading wisdom through the psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs (Colossians 3:16).
Co-laboring with each other through using our God-given gifts and talents (Romans 12:4-8).
Building up individual followers to make the body of Christ strong and whole (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Jude 1:20).
Meeting practical needs and strengthening the weak (Romans 14:1, 1 Corinthians 1:22).
Breaking bread together in remembrance of Jesus’s broken body (1 Corinthians 10:16, Matthew 26:26-28).
Sharing joys and sorrow together as we strive for peace in our relationships (Romans 12:15, Hebrews 12:14, 2 Corinthians 13:11, 1 Thessalonians 5:13).
The Scriptures paint a picture of a kind of church in which our feelings, preferences, and personal needs are removed from the equation.
Instead, the call is to wholeheartedly invest in the body of Christ through the local church and then uncover our place and purpose in it.
Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
Doesn’t that sound opposite than our typical “church-shopping” approach where the goal is to find what meets our needs rather than look for a place to meet other’s needs?
The expression, “meeting together,” comes from the Greek word, episynagōgē which means, “a complete collection; especially a Christian meeting (for worship): assembling (gathering) together.” (source) Sounds like church, doesn’t it? And sounds hard! That’s why God points out that our nature is to neglect meeting together for church. We’ll run from it, if we can. And what God has promised for us when we pursue fellowship is deeply profound.
Acts 2:42-47 NLT
- believers devoted to the teaching of Scripture
- fellowship
- sharing of meals and communion
- prayer
- meeting together in one place
- sharing everything they had
- sharing with those in need
- worship
- joy and generosity
- praising of God
- salvation
Because they gathered together around the teaching of the Good News, they also reaped the benefits of community and became a people marked by joy, generosity, and ultimately part of God’s great commision to accomplish the saving of many lives. It wasn’t only about what they would receive, it was about what they would give and the Kingdom gain!
How do you find a healthy church?
After years of coaching women, I can tell you that being wounded by a church experience is a real thing. The church is made up of sinful and flawed humans beings created in the image of God, but who are not God. Some churches are in need of deep spiritual healing, just like we need Jesus to tend to our personal wounds.
A healthy church isn’t one without problems, but one that knows how to solve problems with humility, honesty, grace, and true repentance.
The goal isn’t to find a country club to belong to but a place in which you’ll be challenged and fed by the Word of God so that you’ll know how the Scriptures into action and pursue health within the body of Christ. The red-flag for an unhealthy church is when you recognize the forsaking of teaching of Scripture for the tickling of ears.
2 Timothy 4:3 AMP
For the time will come when people will not tolerate sound doctrine and accurate instruction [that challenges them with God’s truth]; but wanting to have their ears tickled [with something pleasing], they will accumulate for themselves [many] teachers [one after another, chosen] to satisfy their own desires and to support the errors they hold . . .
If the Word is not preached, studied, and applied, it’s impossible to live as God designed, especially as the body of Christ.
It’s impossible to be healthy and whole as a church if the guiding philosophy is steeped in feelings and ripe with offenses rather than rooted in truth and seasoned with grace.
Hebrews 4:12 NLT
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.
1: Study the Church’s Website
Do a google search for churches near you by typing into the search field, “Find a Christian Church Near Me” or use Church.org. Once you find a church website, use the Find a Healthy Church Checklist download to evaluate what you’re looking for.
2: Visit the Church Multiple Times
Go to multiple services to hear the preaching a couple of times and observe the community in action. Using the Checklist, see how the church in action lines up with what they state on their website.
3: Ask Questions
Using the Checklist, find the answers to the key questions by talking not only with leadership and staff, but also those sitting in front and behind you in the pews. Get a pulse on the place by connecting with the people who make up the church.
When we relocated three years ago, we began the process of finding a home church by asking around. If you don’t have anyone to ask, a google search can be a good first step. As a family, we agreed that the teaching pastor needed to communicate in a way that would help us learn the Bible, and if we brought guests, we could be certain that the message of salvation would be conveyed.
Everything else about the church was considered “extra,” and much to our great delight, the second church we visited had all sorts of wonderful extras — God-centered worship, Bible study, small groups to plug into, super friendly people to build relationships with outside of Sunday service, and opportunities to serve. Above all, our pastor teaches from Scripture each week and conveys the Gospel in every message. You could say we hit the church jackpot.
Sometimes it takes a whole lot more searching and praying to find a church that offers the Word and all the “extras,” and even then, the best church won’t be awesome all the time.
Throughout the Scriptures, Paul urges us to make every effort to live in peace with everyone (Hebrews 12:14, 2 Corinthians 13:11, 1 Thessalonians 5:13), especially within our church family. Yes, we can expect trouble to abound all the while experiencing the kind of encouragement, accountability, and joy within the body of Christ as we journey to eternity together.
You can find a church! We hope this handy checklist will guide you through the process of what to look for in a church but giving you questions to ask and points to consider. It’s our prayer that through plugging into your local body, you’ll discover the love of Christ afresh and find a place to use your gifts for God’s glory.
My husband was in the Air Force, then worked for a large firm that moved him around a lot. Every time we moved, whether in the US or overseas, I prayed that God would lead me to the right place. The Holy Spirit knows what you need, and even who needs you – for we are to be part of the body of Christ, and we have work to do as a body part 🙂 I wasn’t always familiar with the denominations of the churches, but there were no websites to look at, and we lived in really small places with only a few churches around sometimes. But I felt like the Lord sometimes led me to places where I could encourage my fellow sisters in Christ in their weekly bible studies, or over coffee as we corralled our kids. Military wives often feel depressed and alone overseas too. So looking for the best worship service or even the best sermon or media production is not what God calls us to. Praying and listening to the Holy Spirit should be the priority in any church search.
Cindy, I’m so glad you shared your perspective, which is full of wisdom, humility, and encouragement. I bet you’ve made a huge difference by pouring into the lives of those around you, instead of looking for the perfect church, wherever God has brought you too.